Die Grausame Freundin: A Weirdly Dusty Time Capsule

Is it worth your time?

Honestly? Only if you have a very specific itch for silent German cinema or you’re doing some weird homework on Anny Ondra’s early career. If you’re looking for a tight plot, look elsewhere. People who hate movies that move at the speed of a dying snail will absolutely despise this.

There’s a lot of staring. Like, a lot of intense, unblinking staring at doorways.

The vibe

It’s a strange beast. The tone shifts so fast you might get whiplash, provided you were actually paying attention to the title cards. Anny Ondra is doing the heavy lifting here, and you can tell she’s trying to drag the rest of the cast into the present day while everyone else is still acting like they’re in a stage play from 1890.

• The lighting makes everyone look like they have dust in their eyes.
• The furniture in the parlor looks suspiciously uncomfortable.
• I swear the same background extra appears in three different scenes with the same weird hat.

There’s a moment about halfway through where a conversation drags on for so long that I actually checked if my browser had frozen. It hadn't. It was just the movie deciding that silence is an aesthetic choice.

Random thoughts

It’s not as polished as something like The Spider and the Fly, which at least knows what it wants to be. Here, things just sort of happen. Someone enters a room. Someone looks shocked. Someone exits. Repeat for eternity.

If you enjoy the aesthetic of old German houses and want to see people walk around looking deeply burdened by their own fashion choices, you’ll have a ball. Otherwise, it’s mostly just a curiosity. A very, very dry curiosity. 🎞️

I found myself thinking of Beverly of Graustark, which at least had the sense to lean into its own absurdity. This one tries to keep a straight face, which makes the goofy parts stand out even more. The ending? Don't hold your breath waiting for a payoff.