4.5/10
Senior Film Conservator

A definitive 4.5/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Dog-gone Babies remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
Honestly, unless you have a strange itch for black-and-white chaos, probably not. If you love old-school theatrical tropes and Ernest Truex doing his best to look stressed out, you’ll be fine. If you’re looking for a plot that makes sense in 2024, you are going to be miserable.
The whole thing feels like it’s running on pure caffeine. Truex is moving around the frame like he’s got springs in his shoes. It’s not exactly subtle acting, but it’s hard not to watch.
There are moments where the dialogue just stops dead. You can tell they were trying to pace it like a stage play, but on screen? It just feels like everyone forgot their lines for a split second. Whatever. It adds to the charm, I guess.
I found myself comparing it, of all things, to The Matrimonial Bed. It’s that same frantic energy where people are running in and out of doors for no reason. It gets exhausting after about ten minutes. 🐕
There’s a scene near the middle where the furniture seems to be the main antagonist. It’s funny for a second, then it goes on for another thirty, and then it just becomes a chore. You can almost see the director thinking, "Keep going, he's still falling!"
It’s not as polished as something like The Green Goddess, but that’s not really the point. It’s just a weird little slice of cinema history that doesn't care if you get the joke or not. 🍼
I’m still not sure why the baby was there. I mean, I know why, but it felt like an afterthought. Like someone shouted, "Wait, add a kid!" right before the cameras started rolling.
Anyway. It exists. That’s about all I can say.