Expensive Kisses is twenty minutes of Patsy Kelly yelling (and it's great)

I'll be honest. I only watched this because I was bored and the title sounded like something you'd find in a bargain bin at a gas station.

It turns out Expensive Kisses is just twenty minutes of people having a very loud argument in a hotel.

Is it worth watching today? Only if you have a high tolerance for 1930s 'fast talk' and really like Patsy Kelly.

If you hate screaming comedians, you will probably want to throw your laptop out the window within five minutes. 🪟

Patsy Kelly is the whole show here. She has this energy like a caffeinated squirrel that's been told its the lead in a Broadway play.

She plays a maid, or maybe a friend? It is actually hard to tell because the movie doesn't really care about backstories.

She just shows up and starts vocalizing at a volume that probably broke the microphones back in 1930.

There is a scene in the lobby where she’s trying to hide something and her face goes through about fifty different expressions. Most of them are terrifying. 🤡

The leading man, Bert Roach, is... well, he's there. He spends alot of time looking confused, which is fair because the plot is a complete mess.

It’s about a guy who owes money or is trying to impress a girl, or both. Honestly, I stopped tracking the 'why' and just focused on the 'how.'

The how involves a lot of slamming doors and people walking into rooms they aren't supposed to be in.

I noticed this one extra in the background of the hotel scene who just stares at the camera for a second too long.

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of Expensive Kisses (1930) through its definitive frames.

He looks like he’s wondering if he’s actually going to get paid for this day of work. It's the most relatable thing in the whole movie.

The sets look like they were built out of cardboard and a little bit of hope. 📦

At one point, someone leans on a 'wall' and you can see the whole thing wobble just a tiny bit.

I love stuff like that. It makes the whole thing feel more real than a big CGI blockbuster where everything is perfect.

The dialogue is snappy but half of it doesn't make sense if you think about it for more than two seconds.

They say things like 'Oh, you big palooka!' and everyone reacts like it’s the funniest thing ever said in human history.

It reminds me a bit of Something Different, but with way more yelling and fewer breaks for air.

There is a bit with a trunk that goes on for about 30 seconds too long. We get it, the trunk is heavy and someone is inside it. Move on!

I think the director just liked the sound of the wood creaking. It is a very specific, loud creak.

Eleanor Hunt is in this too. She is the 'pretty one' who has to stand there and look shocked while the world ends around her.

She is very good at looking shocked. Her eyebrows do a lot of heavy lifting in this movie.

The lighting is surprisingly dark in some scenes. It almost feels like a noir movie accidentally broke into a comedy set and nobody told the lighting guy to change the bulbs.

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of Expensive Kisses (1930) through its definitive frames.

There is a shadow on the wall during the 'climax' that looks like a giant spider. It’s definitely just a hat, but it’s distracting.

I found myself wondering where they got the costumes. Bert’s suit is about two sizes too big for him.

It makes him look like a kid playing dress-up in his dad’s closet. 👔 Maybe that was the joke? Or maybe they just didn't have a tailor that day.

If you’ve seen Don't, you know how these shorts can be hit or miss. This one is a hit if you just want to turn your brain off and hear some old-timey insults.

The ending happens so fast I actually had to rewind it because I thought I blinked and missed the resolution.

One minute they are arguing, and the next, everyone is happy and the music starts blaring at 100% volume.

It’s like the film reel just ran out and the producers said, 'Eh, good enough, send it to the theaters.'

I respect that kind of laziness. It is honest filmmaking.

I also noticed a weird smudge on the lens in the final shot. It looks like a thumbprint from some cameraman in 1930.

Anyway, it is a fun little time capsule. Don't expect it to change your life or provide deep meaning. 🌙

Just expect to hear Patsy Kelly yell 'Hey!' about forty times. Sometimes that is all you really need on a Tuesday night.

It's better than staring at a wall, I guess. Barely.