Girl Kidnappers is a weird, clunky relic that still made me laugh

Is this worth watching today? Only if you have a soft spot for weird old comedies where the logic is paper-thin and the stunts are slightly dangerous. 🤡

People who love silent-era physical comedy—even though this is a talkie—will probably get a kick out of it. If you're looking for a serious plot or something that isn't totally politically incorrect, you will probably hate this movie.

I sat down to watch this because I wanted to see Carl Schenstrøm and Harald Madsen in action. They were basically the European version of Laurel and Hardy, known as Pat and Patachon.

The whole setup is just... bizarre. These two clowns decide the best way to help a guy win over a woman is to kidnap her.

Yeah, that’s the actual plan. Kidnapping as a wingman strategy.

It’s not meant to be scary, of course. It’s all played for laughs, but the concept is so dated it feels like watching an alien broadcast from another planet.

The tall one, Schenstrøm, has this face that looks like a sad giraffe. He just kind of looms over everyone while Madsen, the shorter round one, bounces around like a rubber ball.

There is a scene early on where they are trying to figure out the logistics of the snatch-and-grab. They look so incompetent you wonder how they managed to put their shoes on in the morning.

The Logic of a 1930s Gag

The movie doesn't care about realism. At all. 🚫

The American woman they kidnap seems mostly just annoyed rather than terrified. She has this very specific 1930s way of acting where every emotion is a giant theatrical gesture.

One of my favorite tiny details is the way they use props. Everything looks like it was borrowed from a local theater’s basement.

The car they use is a total character on its own. It feels like it’s going to fall apart every time the engine coughs.

I’ve seen better pacing in stuff like Tree Saps, which is saying something. This movie has these long stretches where nothing really happens except people walking in and out of rooms.

But then, suddenly, there’s a bit of physical business that actually works. Like a moment involving a ladder that feels genuinely risky for the actors.

It reminds me of the weirdly specific physical bits in Character Studies. You can tell these guys spent years practicing how to fall down without breaking their necks.

Wait, why is this happening?

• The motivation for the young man is super weak.
• The "American" character doesn't sound very American, but that's part of the charm.
• The clowns are clearly the only reason anyone bought a ticket for this.

There’s a bit in the middle where they try to hide out. The set design here is weirdly cozy, like a postcard that’s been stepped on a few times.

The dialogue is... well, it’s there. It’s mostly just people shouting at each other to move things or get out of the way.

I found myself zoning out during the romantic sub-plot. It’s so boring compared to the clowns making a mess of everything.

You can almost feel the director behind the camera just waiting for the slapstick to start again. The movie gets noticeably better once the plot stops trying to matter.

It’s not as polished as Ask Grandma, but it has a messy energy I kind of liked. It feels like a movie made by people who were just happy the cameras were rolling.

One reaction shot of Harald Madsen lingers so long it actually becomes funny again. He just stares at a sandwich like it’s a math problem he can’t solve. 🥪

Is it a masterpiece? Absolutely not.

It’s a clunky, slightly offensive, very loud comedy from a time when "kidnapping for love" was a viable plot point. But there’s something about those two lead actors that is just magnetic.

They have this chemistry that you can't fake. It’s like they’ve been doing the same routine for twenty years and they can predict each other’s every move.

If you enjoy seeing the roots of comedy, it’s a decent way to spend an hour. Just don't expect it to make any sense when you try to explain it to someone else later.

The ending is abrupt, too. Like they just ran out of film and decided to go get lunch. 🎬

I think I liked it more than I should have. Maybe it was just the hats.

Anyway, if you're bored and want to see what passed for a blockbuster in 1932 Europe, give it a look. It’s definitely more interesting than some of the dry stuff like Sixteen Fathoms Deep.