God's Gift to Women (1931) - A messy but fun pre-code comedy

Is it worth the watch?

If you like old movies where people talk like they just drank six cups of coffee, then yes. This is for people who enjoy the chaos of early sound films before the censors cleaned everything up.

If you hate movies where the main guy is kind of a jerk who thinks he is amazing, you will probably want to skip this one. It is very much a product of 1931. 🎥

Frank Fay plays Toto. He is supposed to be this irresistible Parisian guy. Honestly, he looks a bit like a tired uncle, but the movie really wants you to believe every woman in France is obsessed with him.

The whole thing starts with him just juggling women. It is actually kind of funny how many people are hidden in his apartment. It reminded me a bit of the frantic energy in The Bride's Relations, just with more fancy furniture.

Then he meets Colette. She is played by Laura La Plante. She is the "virtuous" one. Suddenly, Toto wants to be a one-woman man. 💍

The plot kicks in when his doctor tells him he has a weak heart. The doctor says if he kisses anyone or gets "romantic," he might just drop dead. It is a totally fake diagnosis just to help the guy stay out of trouble, but Toto believes it.

There is a scene where he is trying to be noble and stay away from women, and they just keep throwing themselves at him. It gets ridiculous. One woman literally crawls through a window. The physical comedy here is a bit clunky, but it has a charm to it.

I noticed the sound is a little rough in the indoor scenes. You can tell they were still figuring out where to hide the microphones back then. Sometimes a character moves two feet to the left and their voice just... thins out. 🎙️

Joan Blondell is in this! She plays a character named Fifi. She is barely in it, which is a total crime because she is way more interesting than the lead actors. Every time she is on screen, the movie gets about 20% better. She has this way of looking at the camera like she knows the whole plot is stupid.

Louise Brooks is also credited, but don't get your hopes up. She is basically an extra. It is kind of sad to see a silent film icon just standing there in the background while Frank Fay makes weird faces.

The movie is full of these strange little moments. Like the way Toto's butler handles the constant stream of angry ex-girlfriends. He is so casual about it. It makes you wonder what his salary is.

There is a lot of "Parisian" flavor that feels like it was filmed entirely in a studio in California. The sets look like they are made of very thin wood. At one point, a door closes and the whole wall shakes just a little bit. I love stuff like that. It feels real.

The middle part of the movie drags. They repeat the same joke about his heart about four times too many. You start to wish the doctor would just tell him the truth so the plot can move on. It feels a bit like those old shorts, maybe something like Ain't Love Grand?, where one joke is stretched until it snaps.

One thing that really stuck with me is the ending. It is so abrupt. One minute things are crazy, the next minute everyone is happy and the credits roll. They didn't really care about "character arcs" back then. They just wanted you to laugh and go home.

Some random notes I took:

• The hats in this movie are incredible. Huge, floppy, and totally impractical.
• Frank Fay’s mustache deserves its own billing. It is very thin and very suspicious.
• The way they talk about "virtue" is so 1930s. It feels like a foreign language.
• There is a guy who plays a jealous husband who is actually pretty scary for a comedy.

It is not a masterpiece. Not even close. But if you want to see what people thought was hilarious ninety years ago, it is a pretty good time capsule. It feels like a messy play that someone decided to film at the last minute. 🎞️

I think I liked it more than I should have. Probably because of Joan Blondell. She really saves the whole thing from being too annoying. If you're bored on a Sunday, give it a look, but don't expect it to change your life.

Also, the music is constant. It never stops. It’s like the producers were afraid that if there was five seconds of silence, the audience would realize they were watching a movie about a guy with a fake heart condition. It’s exhausting but also kind of energetic in a weird way.