You know that feeling when you walk into a hotel lobby and suddenly feel like you should be wearing a much nicer coat? That is basically this entire movie. 🏨
If you have ninety minutes and want to see what old-school Hollywood glamour actually felt like, yes,
Grand Hotel is worth it. People who love watching beautiful, deeply stressed-out people pacing around shiny floors will eat this up.
But if you can't stand theatrical sighing, you should probably steer clear.
The Lobby is the Real Star
We got a bunch of fancy folks staying at this massive, circular hotel in Berlin. There is a dying clerk trying to live his last days like a king, a broke baron who steals things, a depressed ballerina, and a businessman who is basically a human sweat gland.
If you want to see where the whole "ensemble cast" thing started, this is the blueprint. But honestly, it is mostly just fun to watch old-school actors chew on the scenery.
Unlike smaller dramas of the era, like
Kept Husbands, this one actually feels big. The camera moves around the lobby in this really cool, circular way that makes you feel like a peeping tom.
There is this one shot of the telephone operators at the switchboard that goes on for a bit. You can hear all these different lives overlapping, and it is just super neat.
Greta Garbo and the Art of the Flop
Let's talk about Greta Garbo first. She plays the ballerina, Grusinskaya, and she is
extremely dramatic.
Her famous line is here—the one about wanting to be alone. The way she says it is so heavy, like she is carrying the weight of the entire world on her eyelashes.
Sometimes she flops onto her bed in a way that looks like she might actually break her spine. It is magnificent.
Then you have Joan Crawford as Flaemmchen, the stenographer. Honestly, she steals the whole movie from everyone else.
She has this incredibly modern energy. She just looks at these dusty old men like she knows exactly how pathetic they are.
Her scenes with Lionel Barrymore are the actual heart of the film. Even if Lionel is doing a bit
too much coughing to let us know his character is sick.
Like, we get it, Otto. Your lungs are done for, you do not need to hack into your handkerchief every four seconds.
The Sweaty Business and a Cool Mustache
Some parts do drag, though. There is a business deal subplot with Wallace Beery that feels like reading a tax audit.
He just yells at people in offices and looks sweaty. Whenever he was on screen, I found myself looking at the background extras instead.
Like, there is this one bellhop in the back of one scene who looks like he is trying really hard not to laugh. I wonder what he was thinking.
Also, John Barrymore's mustache is a work of art. He plays the thief Baron, and he looks like he spends three hours a day twisting the ends of it.
His romance with Garbo is... fast. They meet, they talk for five minutes, and suddenly they are the love of each other's lives.
Sure, why not. Melodrama rules apply here.
"People come, people go. Nothing ever happens."
That is the famous opening and closing line, said by a guy with a messed-up face who just sits in the lobby. It is a total lie, obviously, because
everything happens.
But it is a cool way to frame a movie. It makes you feel like you just peeked into a dollhouse for a couple of hours.
If you like gossip, pretty clothes, and people making terrible life choices, give it a watch. Just don't expect it to move at modern speeds.
