His Big Love: An Old-Fashioned Headache

Is it worth the watch?

Look, if you are the kind of person who enjoys finding hidden gems in the dusty corners of cinematic history, you might get a kick out of His Big Love. If you prefer your movies to have, you know, actual pacing, you’ll probably want to skip this one entirely.

It’s not exactly a thrill ride. It’s more like watching a very slow, very polite car crash in slow motion. ☕

The Vibe

The whole thing feels like it was filmed inside a velvet box. Everything is draped in these heavy, suffocating curtains and everyone talks like they’re reciting poetry during a funeral. It’s exhausting.

There is this one scene where they are just standing in a hallway—like, for an eternity. I checked my watch twice. The lighting is so dim I thought my monitor had died.

Odd Little Details

• The leading man has this tic where he adjusts his tie every time he’s nervous. By the end, I wanted to reach through the screen and just rip it off.
• The background extras in the party scene look like they were told to 'act fancy' but mostly just look hungry.
• There is a piano score that plays at the *exact same volume* regardless of whether they are whispering or shouting.

Why it feels weird

The movie is trying so hard to be sophisticated, but it keeps stumbling over its own feet. It reminds me a bit of The Tailor in how it focuses on the minutiae of daily life, but without the charm. Sometimes I felt like the director was more interested in the wallpaper than the actual dialogue.

One of the characters has this monologue about 'destiny' that goes on for a solid four minutes. It felt like they forgot to yell 'cut' and the actor just kept going because he didn't know what else to do. It was kind of brave, honestly.

Final thoughts

You can tell they put a lot of money into the costumes, but they forgot to write a reason for us to care about the people wearing them. It’s a pretty package with nothing inside. Not bad, just... there. Like furniture that takes up too much space. 🛋️

If you're bored, give it a shot. Otherwise, maybe just watch Youthful Folly again instead.