6.9/10
Senior Film Conservator

A definitive 6.9/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. If I Had a Million remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you like old-school Hollywood anthologies and don't mind that the quality shifts every fifteen minutes, then yes. It’s a total time capsule. If you need a tight, singular plot that makes sense from start to finish, you will probably hate this.
The whole premise is just deliciously spiteful. A dying tycoon decides to spite his own family by handing out his millions to random people. Watching him go through a phone book like he’s picking teams for dodgeball is just delightful.
The segments are all over the place. Some are genuinely touching, others are basically just excuses for Vaudeville-style bits. W.C. Fields shows up and, honestly, he’s doing his own thing entirely. It’s like he wandered onto the set from another movie and nobody had the heart to tell him to stop.
There’s this one part with Charles Laughton that is just pure, concentrated joy. He’s a downtrodden clerk who finally snaps. Watching him walk into his boss's office and just... well, I won't spoil it. But the look on his face is priceless. It’s the kind of acting you don't really see anymore, where the silence does all the heavy lifting.
It’s not perfect. Some of the segments drag, and a few of the "poor folks" characters are a bit too cartoonish for my taste. But it’s got this weird, chaotic energy that keeps you moving forward. It’s definitely more interesting than The Duchess of Doubt, which felt like a total snooze by comparison.
The movie doesn't really have a 'point' other than showing how money changes people, or doesn't. Sometimes it’s sweet. Sometimes it’s just pure, unadulterated petty revenge. And I am here for it.
If you find yourself watching this, just roll with the weird shifts in tone. It’s not meant to be a grand statement on life. It’s a collection of sketches, and like any sketch show, some land and some just kind of sit there. But when it lands? It’s fantastic.
Oh, and keep an eye on the background extras. They look like they are genuinely confused about where they are half the time. It’s hilarious.

IMDb —
1921
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