Khochu zhit: A rough, strange trip

Is it worth your time?

Honestly, that depends on how much patience you have for movies that refuse to explain themselves. If you like clear-cut plots and heroes who actually save the day, stay far away. You will probably find it boring or just plain confusing. But, if you like films that feel like a fever dream you had after eating too much cheese, you might actually dig this.

The whole thing feels like it was filmed in a basement, or maybe just a very gray, very damp parking lot. There’s a scene about halfway through where B. Tarayanyk is just staring at a wall for what feels like a lifetime. It’s supposed to be heavy, I guess? But really, I just started looking at the peeling paint behind them and wondered if they’d had lunch yet.

The Rhythm is... Odd

The pacing has this weird stutter. It’ll be quiet for a solid ten minutes, and then suddenly, everyone is screaming at once. It reminds me a bit of the frantic, uneven energy in Chyornyy parus, where you’re never quite sure if the director knew where the camera was pointed.

Dhao-chin Yun actually does some decent work here, despite the script clearly being written on a napkin. There is this one shot—a close-up, I think—where they look genuinely exhausted. Like they haven't slept in three days. Maybe they hadn't. Who knows.

• The lighting is mostly just 'dim' and 'dimmer'.
• The sound mixing is a total disaster, though I kinda liked it.
• Ivan Bykov’s coat is the real star of the show. Seriously, where did they get that thing?

I couldn't help but think about The House of Silence while watching. Both movies have that same I-forgot-to-finish-the-script energy. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s definitely not for everyone.

There is a sequence with a stray dog near the docks that goes on about 30 seconds too long. I think the editor might have fallen asleep at the desk. You can almost feel the movie trying to convince you that the dog is a metaphor for the human spirit, but it’s just a dog. A very confused, wet dog.

It gets better when they finally stop trying to be 'artistic' and just let the characters be miserable. The misery is the most honest part of the film. 🌧️

Would I watch it again? Probably not. Do I regret watching it? Only a little bit. It’s one of those films that just exists, taking up space in your brain like a song you can’t quite name.