6.6/10
Senior Film Conservator

A definitive 6.6/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Kickin' the Crown Around remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you have twenty minutes and a bizarre craving for old-school physical comedy, sure. It’s light, it’s frantic, and it’s about a commodity that nobody usually builds a thriller around: salami. If you need a movie to make sense or possess a coherent plot, you will absolutely hate this. It moves too fast to care about the why.
Clark and McCullough are doing their usual thing here, which is mostly just bouncing off walls and looking confused while people throw meat at them. It’s not exactly Uppercuts in terms of intensity, but it has that same desperate energy.
The whole premise is just absurd. A national salami crisis? I honestly don't know who wrote this or why they thought the black market for sausages was the next big thing, but it works in a weird, dusty way. The smugglers aren't particularly scary, mostly just guys in hats looking shifty.
There is this one scene where a crate of salami spills and the choreography gets real loose. You can tell they were just having fun with the props. At one point, I think somebody actually trips over a link of sausage. It’s silly, but it made me laugh because it feels so unscripted.
It reminds me a bit of the chaotic energy in The Rich Pup, just with less money and way more cured pork products. It doesn't try to be high art. It doesn't even try to be a good movie. It’s just a series of things happening in a deli.
Sometimes the film feels like it’s about to collapse under its own weight, especially when the dialogue gets muffled. But then someone gets hit in the face with a salami and the rhythm resets. I enjoyed it for what it is. A short, greasy, loud mess. 🌭