King of Jazz (1930) Review: A Weird, Giant Piano Fever Dream

So, you want to see a movie where a guy in a tuxedo hunts a lion in a cartoon?

If you said yes, then King of Jazz is definitely for you.

It is basically a giant, expensive 1930s variety show trapped on film forever.

You should watch it if you like old stuff that feels like a fever dream.

Don't watch it if you need a plot or characters that actually do things.

It's just one thing after another without any real reason.

Paul Whiteman is the star, and he is a very round man.

They call him the 'King of Jazz,' which feels like a bit of a lie since it's mostly show tunes.

But hey, it was 1930, and maybe people were just confused about what jazz was back then.

The movie starts with a cartoon where he gets chased by a lion in the jungle.

It is the first Technicolor cartoon ever, and it looks super weird today.

The lion looks like he’s made of scribbles and bad memories.

Then we get to the music, which is the whole point of the thing.

There is this one scene where they have a giant piano.

I’m not kidding, it’s like the size of a small apartment building.

An entire orchestra walks out of the piano like it's a bus.

It’s the kind of thing that makes you wonder how much money they just threw at the screen.

It feels a bit like The Show but with more brass instruments and less plot.

The color is the most distracting part of the whole experience.

It's that two-strip Technicolor where everything is either red-orange or a murky green-blue.

Everyone looks like they have a mild fever or a very bad spray tan.

But it makes the sets look like candy, or maybe plastic toys.

There is a number called 'The Bridal Veil' that is just a mountain of lace.

It goes on for a long time, and I kind of forgot what I was watching for a minute.

Some of the comedy sketches are... well, they aren't actually funny.

There is one with Slim Summerville that just kind of ends without a joke.

I didn't laugh, but I did stare at his weird hat for a while.

The 'Rhythm Boys' show up too, and one of them is a young Bing Crosby.

He looks so small and hasn't quite grown into his famous voice yet.

He’s the best part of the singing bits, even if he's only on screen for a bit.

I noticed that the dancers, the Rockettes, are almost too perfect.

They move like a single machine, which is impressive but also a little creepy.

The movie doesn't really have a climax, it just sort of... stops eventually.

It finishes with a giant 'Melting Pot' of music where they literally dump people into a pot.

It’s supposed to be about how jazz is made from different cultures and stuff.

But mostly it just looks like a weird, human soup.

Is it a good movie? Idk.

It’s definitely interesting to look at if you have the patience.

It's like looking at a museum that’s accidentally caught on fire.

You can see why people in 1930 were totally blown away by the colors.

But today, it just feels like a very long, very bright dream you had after eating too much cheese.

The 'Happy Feet' number is actually pretty catchy, though.

The guy dancing on the table has so much energy it made me tired just watching him.

I think his name was Al Norman? He moves like his legs are made of rubber bands.

And the way the camera stays low makes him look like a giant.

It’s one of those moments where the movie actually feels alive for a second.

Most of the time, though, it’s just people standing in front of big curtains.

There's a lot of posing and looking very serious about nothing.

The ladies in the background often look like they aren't sure where to look.

I caught one of them looking directly at the camera with a 'help me' face.

Maybe I imagined it because I was getting sleepy.

The sound is a bit fuzzy too, which is expected for 1930.

It’s that early talkie sound where everything has a hiss behind it.

Like the movie is constantly whispering secrets to you.

It adds to the spooky, dream-like feeling of the whole thing.

Especially during the 'A Bench in the Park' song which is very repetitive.

That song stayed in my head for three hours and I kind of hated it.

Anyway, it’s a time capsule.

It’s not a movie you watch for the acting, because there isn't any.

It’s just performance and big sets.

And sometimes that’s enough if the costumes are shiny enough.

And boy, are they shiny.

Things I noticed:

• Paul Whiteman’s mustache is incredibly thin and sharp.
• The giant scrapbooks that open up are actually a really cool effect.
• The 'Rhapsody in Blue' segment is way too long but the blue sets are nice.
• One of the dancers does a backflip and I’m pretty sure she almost hit the camera.
• The way they filmed the drums makes them look like they're floating in space.
• There is a lot of gold paint involved in this production.