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5.6/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 5.6/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. King of the Islands remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
Honestly, you probably know if you’ll like King of the Islands within the first five minutes. If you want a quick, uncomplicated flick about a guy stuck on an island with a queen, go for it. If you need tight logic or a plot that makes sense on a second watch, you’ll probably want to skip this one.
The whole thing feels a bit like watching a postcard come to life, but with more shouting. Warren Hymer is doing his best, but the script feels like it was written on a napkin during a lunch break.
There's a scene near the middle where the sailor and the queen are talking, and it lasts just a second too long. The silence gets weird. It feels like they forgot their next lines and were just waiting for the director to yell cut. It’s kind of charming in a sloppy way.
The island sets are clearly just painted backdrops, and honestly? I kind of love that. It’s not trying to trick you. It’s not The Vanishing Shadow, where you're looking for hidden details in every corner. Here, the palm trees stay exactly where they were put, even if the wind is blowing the wrong way. 🌴
It reminds me a bit of the pacing issues I had with The Melody Girl. You can feel the movie trying to force a romantic spark that just isn't there. It’s like they were holding a magnet to the screen hoping the actors would stick together. 🙄
Don't get me wrong, there’s a certain, weird, unpolished joy to it. It’s the kind of movie you put on while folding laundry. It doesn't ask for your brain, and that's fine. It's not aiming to be No Man of Her Own, which had a lot more going on under the hood.
It’s just a guy, a beach, and a crown. Sometimes that’s enough. Sometimes it’s just a long Tuesday afternoon.