Review: La barra de Taponazo is messy, old, and surprisingly cozy

Should you watch this today? Honestly, probably not unless you are a hardcore archive hoarder or obsessed with early South American cinema.

Anyone looking for a fast-paced sports film will absolutely hate it. But if you like watching old buddies laugh at jokes that do not make sense anymore, it has a strange, dusty charm.

More Tango than Soccer

The plot is supposed to be about a soccer player and his friends. Really though, it is just an excuse for a bunch of guys to hang out in front of a camera.

It feels less like a written movie and more like a weekend hangout that someone happened to film. At one point, the famous musician Julio De Caro starts playing his violin, and the entire story just pauses for a concert.

It reminded me of how old short comedies like The Grocery Boy would stop everything just for a silly gag. Here, they do it for the music, which is actually pretty cool if you like old tango tunes.

The Weird Little Details

The actual soccer scenes are hilariously bad. Everyone moves so slow, and the ball looks like it was stuffed with heavy wet sand.

Also, the uniforms they wear have these giant, baggy shorts that look like they would fall off if anyone actually ran fast. ⚽️

• The scratchy audio: It literally sounds like someone is frying bacon right next to the microphone.
• That one extra: There is a guy in the background of a cafe scene who spends three minutes trying to fix his collar. He never succeeds.
• The sudden ending: The movie does not really resolve anything, it just sort of fades out.

Julio Andrada has this huge, goofy smile that makes you like him instantly. Even when the jokes fall flat, his face keeps things watchable.

It is a messy piece of history. But I am glad I sat through the crackles to see it.