Le capitaine Craddock (1931) review - The funniest naval threat you'll ever watch

If you have seventy-five minutes to spare and love old, scratchy black-and-white movies where people burst into song for no logical reason, then yes, Le capitaine Craddock is absolutely worth your time. But if you get annoyed by early sound-era crackle or plots that make zero sense, you should probably skip this one completely. 🤷‍♂️

It is basically a French musical comedy from 1931, which is actually a remake of a German film called Bomben auf Monte Carlo. It has this wonderfully loose, chaotic energy that you rarely see anymore.

The plot is so delightfully stupid. Captain Craddock (played by Jean Murat, who has this incredibly smug face I kind of wanted to slap but also loved) is running a ship but has no money to pay his crew.

His secret passenger is actually Queen Yola of Pontenero, played by the gorgeous Käthe von Nagy. She is traveling incognito because her country is completely broke too.

So what does our brilliant captain do when he needs money? He takes the queen's last remaining funds, goes straight to the roulette table in Monte Carlo, and loses every single cent.

Naturally, his logical next step is to threaten to bomb the entire city of Monte Carlo unless they give him his money back. I am not making this up. This is the actual plot of a lighthearted musical! 💣

I kept thinking about how different this is from actual naval warfare movies, like The Battle of Trafalgar. There are no grand strategies here, just a guy throwing a temper tantrum with cannons.

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of Le capitaine Craddock (1931) through its definitive frames.

The highlights of the film are easily the musical numbers. The legendary Comedian Harmonists are in this, playing part of the crew, and their harmony is just heaven to listen to.

They sing "Les gars de la marine" while scrubbing the deck, and it is so catchy I have been humming it all morning. My dog is already tired of it.

The comedy is very broad, almost like a silent movie that forgot it was allowed to have talking. Some of the physical gags go on a bit too long, like a scene in the casino lobby where people keep bumping into each other.

And the romance is... well, it's there. It reminds me a bit of the silly, innocent courtship in Cupid Forecloses, where you just have to accept that these two people are in love because the script says so.

There is this one close-up shot where the Queen looks at Craddock with these giant, sparkling eyes, and the camera just holds on her face for what feels like a solid minute. It is supposed to be romantic, but she looks like she is trying to remember if she left her oven on back in Pontenero.

Also, the special effects of the ship firing its guns look like someone throwing tiny firecrackers into a tub of soapy water. It is hilarious.

Random thoughts I scribbled down:

• The captain's hat is tilted at an angle that defiantly challenges gravity.
• I swear one of the sailors in the background is just pretending to sweep the exact same spot for ten minutes.
• The Monte Carlo set looks incredibly expensive and totally fake at the same time.
• Why does everyone in 1930s movies talk so fast? My brain could barely keep up with the subtitles.

It is not a masterpiece, and some parts are definitely a bit creaky. But there is a warmth to it that you just do not get in modern movies.

If you can find a decent copy, grab a glass of wine and just let the silliness wash over you. It is a fun trip back in time.