Little Dutch Plate: Kitchen Nightmares and Gold Teeth

Wait, what did I just watch?

If you have a soft spot for weird, rubber-hose animation and plots that feel like they were written during a fever dream, Little Dutch Plate is going to be your new obsession. It’s not for people who need their stories to make sense, or for those who get squeamish about kitchenware being held hostage. If you like the vibe of The Sleep Walker but want more threat of industrial decapitation, you’re in the right place.

The whole thing kicks off in a cheery Dutch kitchen where the plates start dancing like they’ve had too much espresso. It’s cute for about ten seconds before the vinegar bottle shows up with a mortgage paper. I don’t know why a vinegar bottle handles real estate, but he’s clearly the bad guy here. He’s got that specific kind of cartoon malice that makes you want to reach into the screen and just shake him.

The Logic of a Salt Shaker

Our hero is a salt shaker boy, which is a weird protagonist choice, but he’s got heart. He’s broke—like, one-cent-in-the-piggy-bank broke. The solution? Blowing up his father’s dentures with a firecracker to steal the gold teeth. It’s an oddly aggressive move for a guy who just wants to save his girlfriend.

The pacing here is frantic. It’s just one panic attack after another. Watching the girl get strapped into a grandfather clock while a saw blade looms over her is… intense. It’s not exactly the relaxing morning cartoon experience you’d expect from the aesthetic.

• The sound effects are louder than they have any right to be.
• The vinegar bottle’s face is truly unsettling.
• There is a distinct lack of logic regarding how plates dance.

The ending is where it gets really strange. The vinegar bottle gets his head knocked off, but then he just finds a better one and gets the girl? Or something? It all happens so fast I had to rewind twice. It reminded me a bit of the chaotic energy in Love and Kisses, where you think you know where the story is going, but the floor drops out from under you instead.

It’s barely a few minutes long, but it feels like a marathon. I couldn't look away. Is it a masterpiece? No. Is it a weird little piece of history that makes you wonder what the animators were eating for lunch? Absolutely. 🥣