Murder in the Pullman: A Train Ride You'll Probably Want to Skip

Is it worth your time?

Honestly, only if you have a very specific itch for black-and-white train mysteries from the thirties. If you like your movies snappy and your characters to have even a shred of likability, you are going to hate this.

It’s for the folks who want to feel like they are solving a puzzle, even when the puzzle is missing half its pieces. 🚂

The whole thing centers on Irma, who is essentially a professional at being expensive. She’s got a nightclub guy, a lawyer, and a secret boyfriend all in the mix. Watching her try to keep them apart is about as graceful as a toddler playing three-dimensional chess.

When the murder actually happens, you’d think the movie would pick up speed. Instead, it decides to take a nap.

The train never really leaves the station.

There’s a heavy dose of Inspector Carr and Dr. Crabtree, who are supposed to be our brains on the scene. They spend so much time talking in corners that I started to miss the pacing of The Roadhouse Murder, which at least knew when to cut to the chase. These guys just stand around like they're waiting for a delayed connection.

• The dialogue feels like it was written on a napkin while the writer was waiting for a bus.
• Every time Irma walks into a room, you can hear the movie straining to make her seem like a femme fatale.
• The train set is so obviously a set that I kept waiting for a stagehand to walk through the background with a coffee mug. ☕

I caught myself looking at my phone about forty minutes in. There’s a scene where they interview the suspects, and it just drags on like a bad office meeting. It made me think about A Desperate Adventure and how much better it handled keeping the tension alive without needing everyone to stand in a line and explain their alibis.

There’s a weird moment where the criminologist just stops everything to explain his theory, and the lighting shifts so abruptly you’d think they lost a bulb. It’s charming in a 'they clearly had no budget' way, but it doesn't help the story. It’s just… there.

If you enjoy watching people argue in cramped train compartments, you might get a kick out of it. Otherwise, this is a pretty easy one to skip. It's not the worst thing I've sat through, but it’s certainly not a classic.

It just feels like a draft that someone decided to film before they finished the script. Maybe it’s better to just watch the scenery go by outside instead.