North of Arizona: A dusty, low-stakes ride

Is it worth your time?

Look, if you’re a sucker for grainy black-and-white Westerns from the days when everyone rode horses like they were heading to the grocery store, you might find something to like here. If you need a movie that actually makes sense or has, you know, pacing, you should probably skip this one. It’s for the folks who like the smell of old celluloid and don’t mind a plot that feels like it was scribbled on the back of a napkin.

The whole setup is pretty standard, but there’s something oddly hypnotic about how quickly Jack Perrin ends up in the middle of a gold-stealing conspiracy. He gets hired as a foreman, and you just know—within about thirty seconds—that he’s walked straight into the lion's den. The ranch is clearly run by crooks, and the way they try to act natural while plotting murder is just… chef's kiss levels of bad acting.

There’s a scene where Perrin is talking to some of the local tribe members, and the camera work is just so static it feels like a painting that accidentally started moving. It’s not necessarily boring, just very, very quiet. It makes me think of The Desert Outlaw in terms of that specific brand of desert loneliness, though this one lacks that film's weird spark.

Also, can we talk about the horses? Starlight gets top billing in the cast list, which is a power move if I’ve ever seen one. Honestly, the horse probably gives the most believable performance of the bunch. When the humans start shouting about gold and land deeds, I found myself just watching the background to see if the horse was going to wander off frame.

The bad guys in this movie are the kind of villains who seem to spend all their time standing in rooms with their hands on their hips, waiting for the hero to arrive. It’s not exactly high-tension stuff. There’s a moment where a character walks through a door, stops, and just stands there for a beat too long. I’m pretty sure they were waiting for their cue, but in the final edit, it just looks like they forgot where they were going. 🌵

It’s not a masterpiece. It’s not even a particularly good movie by modern standards. But it has that specific, dusty charm that makes you wonder what the craft services table looked like in 1935. It feels like a relic, not a story.

• The dialogue is mostly just people telling each other what they already know.
• I’m pretty sure the same two rocks appear in every single outdoor shot.
• The hats in this movie deserve their own credit.
• If you blink, you’ll miss the entire gold-swindling motivation.

It’s a light snack of a film. Don't go in expecting a full meal. You’ll be fine. 🤠