Item: On ne roule pas Antoinette
Rating: 7
Author: Archivist John

Is it worth your time?

If you like movies that feel like a stage play running on way too much caffeine, you will probably get a kick out of On ne roule pas Antoinette. If you prefer your stories to actually slow down and breathe, or if subtitles that move at the speed of light make you cranky, just skip it. It’s a total whirlwind.

The plot is basically one big, messy misunderstanding that keeps spiraling. Antoinette, played by the very sharp Simone Renant, is the only person who seems to have a working brain in the entire film. Everyone else is busy lying or hiding in closets. It reminds me a bit of the frantic energy in

Notes from the couch

Armand Bernard is doing a lot of heavy lifting with his eyebrows alone.
The pacing is erratic. Sometimes the scene just ends because someone walks through a door.
Alice Tissot makes every scene she is in feel like a minor crisis. I loved it.

There is a specific moment where a character tries to hide behind a curtain that is obviously too thin. The silence right before they get caught is just deliciously awkward. It’s the kind of thing you only notice if you aren't scrolling through your phone while watching.

The film doesn’t try to be profound. It just wants to see how many people it can shove into a room before the whole thing collapses. Honestly, it is quite refreshing. It’s not trying to be the next ¡Que viva Mexico! in terms of ambition, and that is exactly why it works. It knows its lane.

Some of the dialogue is so fast I had to rewind twice, which made me feel like an idiot. But then you realize the point isn't the specific words, it's just the sound of everyone panicking. The editing feels like it was done with a pair of rusty kitchen scissors, and that is a compliment. It keeps you on your toes. 😅

I wouldn't call this a masterpiece. But it’s a charming, messy, very loud bit of fun. If you have an hour to kill and want to watch people make bad decisions in black and white, you could do much worse.