Postal Inspector: A B-Movie You Can Probably Skip

Is this thing worth your time?

If you have a weird itch for 1930s B-movies where everyone wears a suit and speaks in that clipped, old-timey radio voice, sure. Otherwise, keep walking. People who like complex character studies will hate this. People who just want a breezy, uncomplicated mystery to watch while folding laundry? They’ll be fine.

Postal Inspector is the kind of movie that reminds me of The Costello Case in its total lack of ambition. It’s not trying to win an Oscar. It’s just trying to fill an hour of screen time before the feature presentation starts. Sometimes that’s enough, but here, it feels a bit like reading the police blotter from eighty years ago.

Small moments, big boredom

There’s a scene involving a stolen train car that goes on for a while. The inspectors look at maps. They look at each other. They point at things. I spent half the time looking at the extras in the background who were clearly just told to 'act busy' near a mailbox. One guy in the back left just leans against a wall for like three minutes. It’s hypnotic, honestly.

Ricardo Cortez does the heavy lifting, and he’s fine. He’s got that stern, 'I’m working for the government' look down pat. But there’s zero chemistry between him and anyone else on screen. It’s like they were all filmed in different rooms and edited together by a very tired person with a pair of rusty scissors.

• Hattie McDaniel pops up, which is always a treat, even if she’s given nothing to do.
• The train set pieces look like they cost about twelve dollars to build.
• Bela Lugosi is in this, but blink and you’ll miss why he’s even there.

I kept waiting for the tension to kick in. It never really does. It’s just a steady hum of exposition. The Third Woman handles this kind of noir-lite stuff with a lot more grace. Here, the plot just sort of happens to the characters. They don't make choices; they just follow instructions.

The ending is so abrupt it made me laugh out loud. One minute they are chasing a lead, the next minute everyone is shaking hands and the screen goes black. It’s as if the film ran out of film and just said, 'Okay, that's enough, pack it up, fellas.' Honestly? Fair enough. I was ready to leave too. 📬