Red Noses (1932) is a loud, sneezing mess in the best way

You should watch Red Noses today if you have twenty minutes to kill and you don't mind a lot of yelling. It’s perfect for people who like that specific kind of 1930s slapstick where everyone seems like they had four cups of coffee right before the cameras started rolling. If you hate repetitive jokes or high-pitched voices, you will probably want to turn this off after three minutes.

The whole thing is basically just Thelma Todd and Zasu Pitts having terrible colds. They look miserable. Honestly, Zasu looks like she’s about to vibrate out of her skin, which is her usual thing, but the sneezing makes it extra.

They decide to go to a Turkish bath to sweat out the germs. This is where the movie gets weird and fun. The spa doesn't look like a place where you go to relax. It looks like a basement where people go to get punished by lady wrestlers.

Thelma Todd is great because she tries so hard to be the normal one. But she’s just as goofy. She has this way of looking at the camera like she can’t believe she’s stuck in this movie. It’s a bit like the energy in The Golf Nut but with more mucus.

The Sneeze King

Billy Gilbert shows up as the guy in charge of the treatments. If you know Billy Gilbert, you know what’s coming. The man turned sneezing into a professional career.

He does this long, drawn-out build-up where his face contorts like he’s having a minor stroke. It goes on for so long. You think he’s finally done, and then he starts again. It’s the kind of bit that is funny, then becomes annoying, then becomes funny again because it’s so committed.

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of Red Noses (1932) through its definitive frames.

I noticed the sound quality is a bit crunchy in this one. You can hear the background hiss of the old film. It actually adds to the vibe, making the steam room scenes feel even more claustrophobic.

There is a scene where they are wrapped in blankets like mummies. Zasu is trying to scratch her nose but her arms are pinned. It’s genuinely stressful to watch if you’ve ever had an itch you couldn't reach.

• Thelma’s facial expressions when she’s getting massaged are gold.
• The towels look incredibly heavy and scratchy.
• The doctor character is definitely not a real doctor.

One thing that stuck out to me was the lady who is supposed to be giving the massages. She is huge. She looks like she could bench press a car. When she starts thumping on the girls, it doesn't look like acting. It looks like they are actually getting the wind knocked out of them.

The rhythm of the dialogue is very fast. It’s that rat-a-tat style. It reminds me a little of the back-and-forth in So's Your Monk. They don't really wait for the other person to finish talking. They just pile on.

Is it actually funny?

I laughed out loud twice. Once was when Zasu tried to use the smelling salts. The way her head snaps back is just perfect physical comedy. The other time was a bit involving a bucket of water that I won't spoil, even though spoilers for a 90-year-old short probably don't matter.

The ending feels a bit rushed. It’s like they ran out of film or the director just wanted to go home. It doesn't really resolve anything. They just sort of exit. It's messy, but that's what makes it feel real and not like a manufactured product.

Cinematic perspective: Exploring the visual vocabulary of Red Noses (1932) through its definitive frames.

It’s definitely better than some of the other shorts from this era like Hard Cider. There is more personality here. You can tell Thelma and Zasu actually liked working together. Their timing is almost psychic.

"I don't want to be cured, I want to be let out!"

That line from Zasu basically sums up the whole experience. It’s loud. It’s wet. Everyone is frustrated. It’s a great little time capsule of how people used to think steam baths worked. Apparently, you just go there to get yelled at by Billy Gilbert.

If you're looking for a deep story, obviously look elsewhere. This is just pure chaos in a towel. I kind of miss when movies were allowed to be this simple. Just two people with runny noses trying to survive a spa day.

Also, the set design for the steam room is weirdly cool. It’s all white tiles and pipes. It looks like it could be a level in a video game. I wonder if they actually had hot water running or if it was just a guy with a smoke machine in the corner. Probably the smoke machine.

Anyway, go watch it if you're bored. It’s short enough that even if you hate it, you haven't lost your whole afternoon. But you'll probably end up liking Zasu's weird hand-waving more than you expect.