Rio 'the Magnificent' is a disaster, and I kind of loved it

If you're looking for a tight script or anything resembling logical pacing, look elsewhere. Rio 'the Magnificent' is the kind of movie that just throws stuff at the wall to see if it sticks. Some of it does! Most of it slides right down to the floor, leaving a weird, colorful stain.

It’s worth watching if you want to turn your brain off for ninety minutes and just soak in the chaos. If you’re the type of person who needs to know exactly why a character is standing in a fountain at 2:00 AM, you’ll probably hate this. It just happens. Let it go. 🤷‍♂️

There is this one shot about halfway through where the lead actor just stares at a painting for way, way too long. I think the camera operator got distracted or maybe forgot to yell 'cut.' It’s awkward, but it’s also the most honest moment in the whole film.

It’s hard not to think about the frantic energy of Moulin Rouge, but where that movie is polished to a high shine, this one feels like it was dragged through a hedge. It’s got a grit to it that I actually didn't mind.

Small things I noticed:

• The background extras in the street scenes are clearly looking at the camera. Every single one of them.
• The sound mixing is so inconsistent you’ll be reaching for your volume remote every three minutes.
• I’m fairly certain the same prop chair appears in three different continents.

It’s not trying to be The Awakening or anything deep. It’s just a noise machine with a pulse. There’s a scene in a train station that goes on for about ten minutes too long, and you can practically hear the director screaming for more lights. The silence starts to feel less like tension and more like a nap.

Is it good? Not really. But it’s not boring. Sometimes that’s enough. It reminds me a bit of the frantic energy in Walk Cheerfully, but with way more yelling. I spent half the time wondering what the budget actually went toward. Definitely not the craft services, that's for sure.

If you want to spend an evening watching a movie that has absolutely no business being as confident as it is, give this a shot. It’s a bit like watching a car crash in slow motion—you know you should look away, but you just can't. 🚗💥