Silent Valley (1935) Review: Dusty, Cheap, and Quite Fun

If you have fifty-five minutes to kill and a soft spot for hats that look like they survived a dust storm, Silent Valley might be your jam.

Otherwise, if you need actual plots or actors who do not stare directly at the camera while delivering lines, stay far away. 🤠

It is a standard 1930s B-western, meaning the plot is basically an excuse to show guys in dirty trousers riding horses really fast down sandy hills.

Our hero is Sheriff Steve, played by Tom Tyler, who has the most intense eyebrows in the history of cinema.

Seriously, those eyebrows deserve their own billing in the credits.

Steve is chasing some cattle rustlers, which is already a pretty tired setup even for 1935.

The "twist" here—and I use that term very lightly—is that one of the bad guys is the brother of Steve's fiance.

Her name is Helen, played by Nancy Deshon, who spends most of her screen time looking slightly confused about where she is supposed to stand.

I think she was trying to find the bathroom and accidentally wandered onto the active set.

Anyway, this creates a "big" moral dilemma for our dusty sheriff.

Does he lock up his future brother-in-law or let him slide?

It is not exactly Shakespeare, but hey, it keeps the horses moving.

Speaking of horses, there is one scene where a horse looks genuinely embarrassed by the dialogue.

I think it was the scene where Charles King, playing the villain, tries to look menacing while wearing a vest that looks like a discarded carpet.

Charles King is always fun to watch because he plays every bad guy like he just stole a child's lollipop.

He sneers so hard I thought his mustache was going to fly off and hit the cameraman.

The sound quality is... well, let us call it "authentic."

It sounds like they recorded the audio inside a tin can submerged in hot pudding.

Sometimes a gun goes off and it sounds like someone slapping a wet fish against a wooden plank.

But that is part of the charm of these ultra-cheap productions, isn't it?

If you have seen The Cowboy and the Girl, you already know how these cheapies usually go.

They did not have the budget of bigger westerns like Heritage of the Desert, so they had to rely on sheer speed to keep you awake.

The whole movie is over before you even finish your small popcorn.

Actually, it feels like they shot this entire thing over a single weekend because they had the camera rented till Monday morning.

There is a fight scene near the end where the stunt doubles are so obvious it is hilarious.

One guy clearly has a totally different hair color than the actor he is replacing during the punches.

He goes into the punch-up with dark hair and comes out of it with light blonde hair.

Maybe the punch was just that hard. 🥊

I also noticed a weird shadow of a microphone boom on the wall during an indoor scene.

Nobody bothered to edit it out, probably because they literally could not afford to retake the shot.

"Just keep rolling, boys, the sun is setting!" - I can hear the director screaming that from his wooden chair.

Honestly, I kind of love that total lack of polish.

It makes the whole experience feel very human, unlike today's overly CGI-ed stuff.

You can feel the actual sweat and the dirt, even if the acting is as stiff as a cardboard box.

So yeah, do not expect a masterpiece here.

But if you want some brainless retro fun with great horse riding and funny hats, give it a go.