Southern Roses (1936) Review: Creaky, Silly, and Oddly Charming

If you have a soft spot for dusty, black-and-white British musical comedies where everyone speaks like they have a marble in their mouth, then yes, Southern Roses is *actually* worth an hour and a half of your life.

People who love vintage theater antics and George Robey’s massive eyebrows will find this charming. But if you get annoyed by thin plots about mistaken identity, you will probably want to throw your remote at the screen. 📺

I stumbled on this one late at night. It is one of those films that feels like it was filmed inside a giant, slightly stale wedding cake.

Its' plot is basically about some naval officers, a paint manufacturer, and a bunch of people pretending to be Spanish dancers in Barcelona. It is incredibly silly and relies on everyone being extremely blind to obvious lies.

Neil Hamilton is in this. Yes, the guy who played Commissioner Gordon in the 1960s Batman TV show!

He plays a lieutenant here, looking very young and very lost in the musical numbers. Honestly, seeing him sing and dance is like watching your high school principal try to do the tango.

Then we have George Robey. He was a huge music hall star back then, and you can tell because the camera just stares at him while he does his "look at the audience" shtick.

There is this one scene where he is trying to hide behind a ridiculously small potted plant. The plant does not even cover his chin, but the other characters act like he vanished. 🌿

It reminded me a bit of the chaotic energy in Going Hollywood, though that one had a much bigger budget. Or even the stagey vibes of The Music Master, which also struggled to hide its theater roots.

The songs are mostly based on Johann Strauss tunes. Some of them are quite catchy, but others just go on and on.

There is a dance number in a tavern that feels like it was filmed in a high school gym with some fake brick wallpaper. It is delightfully low-rent.

One of the background dancers in the left corner is completely out of sync with everyone else. I spent five minutes just watching him spin the wrong way.

The sound quality on the print I watched was pretty rough. Every time someone laughed, it sounded like a wet paper bag tearing.

But that is part of the charm of these old flicks, isn't it?

Gina Malo and Chili Bouchier do their best to inject some life into the romance angles. Chili Bouchier has this incredibly sharp look, but they do not give her enough to do besides looking mildly offended.

It is a bit like the frantic but empty feeling you get in The Perfect Flapper, where everyone is trying so hard to be delightful that it becomes slightly exhausting.

And the fake Spanish accents! Oh boy.

They sound like they learned Spanish from a menu at a London pub. At one point, a character says "Señor" but pronounces it like "Senior." 😂

Still, there is a weird warmth to it all. It is a relic of an era when movies did not need to explain anything, they just needed to get to the next waltz.

If you are expecting a masterpiece like BBC: The Voice of Britain in terms of capturing real life, you won't find it here. This is pure fantasy land.

The set design looks like it was put together over a weekend. You can actually see the canvas of the backdrop wrinkling when the wind machine blows.

There is also a scene where a dog runs across the back of the set. I don’t think that dog was supposed to be in the movie, he just sniffs a chair and walks off. 🐶

These little accidents are why I love watching obscure stuff from the thirties. It feels more alive than the polished CGI stuff we get now.

Like, in Friday, the Thirteenth, you get a real sense of London, but here you just get a bunch of actors having a laugh on a soundstage.

The romance between the leads is totally unbelievable, of course. They fall in love after about three minutes of screen time and one song.

Anyway, if you want some light escapism that doesn't require any brain cells, give this one a spin. It won't change your life, but it might make you smile.