The Cyclone Ranger: A dusty, familiar ride that doesn't overstay its welcome

Is this thing worth your time?

Honestly, only if you've got a soft spot for the kind of B-western that feels like it was filmed in an afternoon. If you’re looking for something with the narrative weight of Duck Soup—which is a weird comparison, I know, but I was thinking about it earlier—you’re gonna be let down. This is for people who just want to watch hats get knocked off and horses gallop until the film reel runs out.

The Plot, or lack thereof.

Our heroes are former rustlers. They try to go straight. They fail. It’s the oldest story in the book, really. There’s a scene early on where they try to walk into town like they're just normal folks, but the way they’re gripping their holsters makes it pretty clear they’re still itching for a fight. It’s kind of funny watching them try to act casual.

There's a bit of Salty Saunders energy here, though maybe a bit less charming. The pacing is weird. One minute they’re moping about their reputations, and the next, there's a shootout that seems to materialize out of thin air. The editing feels like someone just cut out all the parts that explained why anyone was actually mad at each other.

• The horses look like they're having a better time than the actors.
• I swear the same background rock shows up in four different locations.
• The dialogue is mostly just people shouting "Git!" at each other.

I found myself staring at the background extras more than the main cast. There's this one guy in a dusty vest who just wanders across the frame in the middle of a tense conversation, looking like he’s trying to remember if he left his stove on at home. It’s oddly hypnotic.

The movie doesn't try to be anything it isn't. It doesn't have the polish of Wonder Bar, and it’s certainly not trying to change the genre. It's just a dusty, uneven, and sometimes plain goofy little flick. Sometimes, that’s just enough for a Tuesday afternoon.

Anyway, don't expect to be changed by the ending. It just sort of stops. Like they ran out of film or money, or maybe just got bored of the whole thing. Can't say I blame them. 🤠