The Return of Sherlock Holmes (1929) Review: Stiff but Charming

Is this worth watching today? Only if you have a soft spot for the crackle of early sound films and don't mind a lead actor who moves like he's wearing a corset three sizes too small.

Fans of the modern, fast-talking Sherlock will probably find this painfully slow. But if you like seeing how movies used to struggle with microphones, it’s a goldmine. 🎬

Clive Brook plays Holmes. He doesn't really 'act' so much as he 'poses' with a pipe while looking very serious.

He's got this incredibly stiff posture. It’s like he’s trying to win a contest for the straightest spine in London.

The story kicks off with a retired captain who used to work for Moriarty. He wants to go straight, which is basically a death sentence in these kinds of movies.

Naturally, he gets killed. Enter Holmes, who has been 'dead' but is actually just hanging out in disguises.

The disguises are the best part, mostly because they are terrible. He puts on a mustache and a different hat and suddenly his closest friends are like 'Who is this strange man?'

It’s honestly funny. One reaction shot of Watson looking confused lingers for so long I thought the film had jammed. 😂

H. Reeves-Smith is Watson here. He mostly just stands around looking like he's forgotten where he put his keys.

There’s a lot of talking. Like, a lot. Since it was 1929, they were still obsessed with the fact that actors could finally speak, so they never shut up.

The sets feel very small. Most of the movie looks like it was filmed in a very fancy broom closet.

I noticed a moment where a character walks toward a window and you can see the shadow of the camera move across their back. It's those little mistakes that make these old flicks feel real to me.

Donald Crisp plays Moriarty. He’s actually pretty good, even if he spends most of his time looking like he's smelled something bad.

The pacing is weirdly uneven. It drags for twenty minutes, then suddenly three people get poisoned and there's a chase on a boat.

The boat scene is... something. It’s very clearly a model in a tank, but they really try to make it look epic. 🚢

It reminds me a bit of the staginess in Alias Jimmy Valentine, where everyone is still figuring out how to move and talk at the same time.

There is a scene where Holmes is supposedly playing a German musician. His accent is just his normal voice but with more 'ja' added at the end.

It’s not exactly the gritty drama of The Road to Ruin. It's much more polite and British.

I found myself getting distracted by the wallpaper in the background of some scenes. It’s very busy. Too many flowers.

The ending happens very fast. Holmes explains everything, Moriarty looks annoyed, and then it’s just over.

No big climax, just a lot of satisfyingly dry dialogue. It feels like a filmed play, but in a cozy way.

I wouldn't call it a masterpiece. But for a late-night watch when you can't sleep, it’s a nice bit of history. 🕵️‍♂️

Just don't expect the disguises to fool you. They wouldn't fool a toddler.