I watched The Road to Ruin (1934) and it's a total fever dream

Is it worth your time?

If you have a soft spot for those old 'danger' movies that try to scare you away from fun, then yes, you should watch this. It’s perfect for a late night when you want to see how people used to freak out about 'the youth.'

Anyone who likes unintentional comedy will have a blast. But if you’re looking for a serious drama with deep characters, you’re gonna hate this pretty fast.

The movie starts out with Eve, who is supposedly this innocent girl. She looks like she’s about 25, but we’re supposed to believe she’s a teenager.

She meets some 'wild' friends and everything goes to garbage almost immediately. It’s not a slow burn; it’s more like she walks into a room and suddenly she’s an alcoholic.

The way they talk about 'hop' (which is what they called weed back then) is just hilarious. One guy offers her a smoke and he looks like a cartoon villain sneaking around a corner.

I noticed that the mother in this movie is always wearing a hat. Even when she’s just sitting in her own living room talking about how worried she is, the hat stays on.

It’s a very weird fashion choice for being 'distressed.' It makes the whole scene feel like a play where they forgot to take their costumes off.

The party scenes are probably the best part because they are so crowded. It looks like thirty people crammed into a space the size of a closet.

They all just stand there holding glasses and nodding their heads very fast. It’s supposed to look like a 'riotous' time, but it just looks uncomfortable and sweaty.

I’ve seen better party energy in Across to Singapore, and that was mostly just sailors fighting. This is just people in suits looking bored while pretending to be bad.

There is a scene where Eve gets drunk for the first time. She takes one sip and her eyes roll back like she just drank battery acid.

The acting is very... let's say, enthusiastic. Helen Foster spends most of the movie looking like she’s about to sneeze or cry, and sometimes both at once.

The movie gets really dark near the end, though. It stops being funny for a bit when the pregnancy and the 'operation' come up.

Back in 1934, you weren't really allowed to talk about this stuff openly. So the movie uses these very vague terms that make it feel even creepier.

The doctor's office looks like a dungeon. I don't think they had a budget for a real set, so they just used a dark room with one lamp.

It’s weirdly effective because it feels so dirty and wrong. It’s the only time the movie actually feels 'scary' like it wants to be.

I kept thinking about The Tomboy while watching this. That movie had a bit more heart, whereas this just feels like a lecture from a very angry uncle.

One thing that really bugged me was the sound. Sometimes the music is so loud you can barely hear the actors mumbling their lines.

And the lines are mostly just 'Oh Eve, how could you!' and 'I’m a ruined woman!' over and over. It gets a little repetitive after the third or fourth time she cries on a sofa.

The 'bad boy' characters all have the same mustache. I couldn't tell half of them apart until they started talking about their 'hop' again.

There is this one guy who just stands in the background of every party. He doesn't have lines, he just stares at people with this creepy smile.

I think he might have been an extra who didn't know the camera was on him. Or maybe he’s the real villain of the movie, who knows?

The pacing is kind of a mess, too. We spend ten minutes watching a car drive down a road, but the 'downfall' of Eve happens in about thirty seconds.

It’s like the director realized they only had ten minutes of film left and had to finish the story. Everything just crashes together at the end.

The ending is very abrupt and leaves you feeling a bit 'Wait, that's it?' It doesn't really have a resolution, just a final shot of a sad face.

I guess that’s the point, though. It’s supposed to leave you feeling bad so you don't go out and buy a 'hop stick.'

Is it a good movie? No, not really. But is it a fascinating movie? Absolutely.

It’s a window into a time when people were terrified of everything. It’s also a reminder that movie 'teenagers' have been played by thirty-year-olds since the beginning of time.

If you liked The Spitfire for its old-school energy, you might find this interesting. Just don't expect any of the charm.

It’s greasy, it’s preachy, and it’s weirdly fun to talk about once it's over. Just don't take the medical advice from it, please. 🚬