The Steel Animal: Why watch a movie about trains?

Is this worth your time?

Honestly, only if you get a weird thrill from watching massive steam engines chugging along in grainy black and white. It’s for the people who spend their weekends at railway museums. If you’re looking for a narrative, look elsewhere. You’ll probably hate it if you need a protagonist who actually does something other than lecture his coworkers about British rail history.

There’s this moment where Klaassen is explaining the evolution of the train system, and I swear, the camera lingers on a piston for so long I started to wonder if the projectionist fell asleep. It’s not boring, exactly. It’s just… intense about iron.

Aribert Mog plays the engineer like he’s trying to keep a secret, which is funny because the guy is basically just reading a textbook. Max Schreck pops up, and it’s always a trip seeing him in anything that isn't terrifying. He brings this strange, heavy weight to the scenes that feels like it belongs in a much darker movie than this.

The rhythm of the rails

The pacing is entirely dictated by the locomotives. When they move, the movie moves. When they stop at a station, the whole film just sort of hits a dead wall.

• The close-ups of the wheels are weirdly hypnotic.
• Nobody talks much. They mostly just point at gauges.
• The sound design is mostly just clanking and steam hissing.

It reminds me a bit of the industrial obsession found in Lyudi gibnut za metall, though with significantly less drama and a lot more coal. There’s a strange purity to it, I guess. It’s a movie that doesn't care if you're bored.

I found myself zoning out and just watching the smoke patterns against the sky. Maybe that’s the point? It’s not really about the people. The people are just there to make sure the train doesn't derail.

It’s a bit of a relic. It feels like someone made a documentary, got scared, and decided to glue a script onto it at the last minute. The result is a bit lopsided, but the machinery looks absolutely beautiful. 🚂