The Trans-Atlantic Mystery: A Snappy 20-Minute Boat Whodunit

Is it worth your time?

If you have about twenty minutes and a strong craving for an old-fashioned mystery, yeah, it is. It's perfect for people who like those grainy, fast-talking movies from the early thirties where everyone wears a hat.

You’ll probably hate it if you need things like 'character development' or 'logical pacing.' This movie moves like it's being chased by a predator.

The Setup

So, we are on a ship. There are these famous things called the Stanhope diamonds.

A couple of crooks are trying to get them into New York. But, big surprise, they get double-crossed.

The whole thing feels very cramped. Like they filmed it in a very small studio and just hoped we’d believe it was a giant ocean liner.

I actually like the cramped feeling though. It makes the murders feel more awkward and personal.

That Donald Meek Face

Donald Meek is in this. I love that guy.

He always looks like a very nervous turtle who just realized he's in the wrong neighborhood. He has this way of blinking that makes you think he's about to cry or faint.

He brings a weird energy to the screen. Even when the plot is a bit blurry, you just want to watch him react to things.

It reminds me a bit of the vibe in The Ace of Spades, where the atmosphere does a lot of the heavy lifting for the thin script.

Specific bits I noticed

• The sound of the ocean is basically just a constant hissing noise that never stops.
• One of the guys wears his tuxedo like it's made of cardboard. It doesn't look comfortable at all.
• The way they handle the 'clues' is so fast. If you blink, you missed the murder weapon.
• There is a shot of a door closing that stays on screen for like three seconds too long. I think the editor just went to get a sandwich.

The Writing

S.S. Van Dine wrote this. He was the guy who created Philo Vance, so he knows how to build a puzzle.

But here, he only has twenty minutes. So he just shoves the puzzle pieces at your face.

The dialogue is very 'stagey.' People don't talk like this. They announce things.

"The diamonds! They're gone! And he's dead!"

It's great. It’s the kind of movie where someone gets shot and everyone else just stands there for a second looking mildly annoyed before they start investigating.

The Ending (No Spoilers)

The resolution comes out of nowhere. It's like the director looked at his watch and realized they only had two minutes of film left.

One guy just starts explaining everything. It’s a lot of talking.

I didn't quite follow the logic of the double-cross, but I don't think it really matters. The fun is just seeing these 1930s archetypes run around in circles.

It’s much more energetic than something like The Light at Dusk, which feels like it takes a decade to get anywhere.

Final Random Thoughts

Ray Collins is in this too. He’s much younger here than I’m used to seeing him. It’s always weird seeing famous character actors before they got 'old.'

The movie doesn't try to be deep. It just wants to be a distraction.

Sometimes the shadows on the wall are bigger than the actual actors. I think they only had two lights on set.

It’s a fun little relic. 🚢💎

Watch it if you're bored. Don't expect to remember it by tomorrow morning.