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5/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 5/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. The Voice of Hollywood No. 5 remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you have ten minutes to kill and you like looking at ghosts, you should probly watch this. It isn't a movie in the normal sense with a plot or anything like that. It is more like a 1930s version of a YouTube variety channel. 🎥
Historians will love it because it shows how weirdly formal and awkward everyone was when microphones were still new. Normal people might hate it because, well, nothing really happens.
The whole thing is hosted by this guy who calls himself the 'Voice of Hollywood.' He sounds like he’s shouting from the bottom of a well. The audio has this constant hiss that makes it feel like it’s raining inside the theater. 🌧️
There is a part where Tom Mix shows up with his horse. He’s wearing this massive white hat that looks like it weighs ten pounds. He doesn't really say much of interest, but he has this very intense stare. It’s the kind of stare that makes you think he’s trying to remember his lines while also worrying about his horse tripping.
The transition between segments is so fast it gives you whiplash. One second you are looking at a starlet, and the next, there's a guy in a tuxedo talking about a charity event. It feels very disorganized. It reminds me a bit of the frantic energy in Noisy Noises, but with less actual humor.
One thing I noticed is how shiny everyone's faces are. The lighting tech back then must have been just 'point the brightest sun-lamp directly at their foreheads.' You can see the sweat on a few of these people. It makes them feel more human than they usually do in the big studio pictures.
There is a weird bit with a ventriloquist dummy that is genuinely creepy. I don't know why every short film from this era thought dummies were a good idea. The dummy's mouth moves in a way that doesn't match the sound at all. 🤡
It’s strange to watch this right after something like Queen Kelly. That movie feels like high art, even if it was a disaster to make. This No. 5 short feels like the stuff they threw together on a lunch break just to keep the fans happy.
The pacing is totally broken. Some scenes linger on a person's face for way too long after they finish talking. You can almost hear the director off-camera whispering 'keep smiling, keep smiling' until the film runs out. It becomes funny if you watch it with the right mindset.
I liked seeing the old cars in the background of some shots. They look so heavy and dangerous. Everything in 1932 looked like it was made of solid iron and spite. 🚗
If you’ve seen The Gorilla, you know that 1930 was a weird transition year for sound. By the time this short came out in '32, they were getting better, but it still feels like they are practicing. The actors speak very clearly and slowly, like they are talking to a toddler. Or a dog.
There’s a segment where they show letters from fans. The handwriting is so perfect it’s clearly fake. Nobody writes that neatly in real life. Especially not people writing to movie stars in the middle of the Great Depression.
The whole experience is just... odd. It’s like finding a dusty VHS tape in your grandma's attic, but the tape is 90 years old and smells like ozone. It’s not 'good' but it is definitely fascinating to look at. 🎞️
The way they promote other films is very clumsy too. It isn't like a modern trailer. It’s more like a guy saying, 'Hey, go see this movie because we said so.' It lacks any kind of subtle touch. It’s very direct. I kind of respect that.
I wish they had more behind-the-scenes stuff. Most of it is just people standing in front of curtains. Curtains were very big in the 30s, apparently. If you like velvet and awkward pauses, you are in luck.
One reaction shot of a lady in the audience lingers for about five seconds too long. She looks like she’s trying to figure out if she left the stove on at home. It’s the most relatable thing in the whole film. 🍳
Don't go into this expecting a masterpiece like One Week. That had actual gags and timing. This is just a collection of moments that were never meant to be preserved this long. It’s the the junk food of 1932 cinema.
It’s weird to think that at the time, this was cutting edge. People probably paid actual money to see this in a theater. Now we watch it for free on the internet and complain about the grain. Life is funny that way.
Anyway, watch it if you want to see what Tom Mix looks like when he's bored. Skip it if you need a story to stay awake. It’s short enough that it doesn't overstay its welcome, even if the dummy gives you nightmares later. 🌙
IMDb —
1927
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