Thoroughbreds Don't Cry: Mickey and Judy being Mickey and Judy

Is it worth your time?

If you have a soft spot for the black-and-white era where everyone talks a little too fast and the plots are thinner than a sheet of paper, sure, give it a whirl. It's essentially a vehicle to watch Mickey Rooney be an absolute brat for an hour and a half while Judy Garland keeps the whole thing from floating away into total nonsense.

If you hate old-school sentimentality or get bored by movies that treat horse racing like it’s a high-stakes life-or-death situation every five minutes, maybe skip this one.

Mickey Rooney is just... exhausting here. He’s playing a jockey named Tink who is so full of himself it’s a wonder he doesn’t just float away. He’s got that specific mid-30s energy where every line of dialogue is delivered at top volume.

There’s this one scene where he’s trying to act tough in a boarding house, and the way he leans against the doorframe is so staged it’s almost funny. It feels like he’s trying to be a noir detective but he’s actually just a kid who needs a nap. 🐴

Then there’s Judy. She’s honestly the only reason to stay tuned. She walks into a scene and the whole movie just kind of chills out. It’s like she’s acting in a completely different, much better film than everyone else.

The gambling plot feels like it was stapled onto the script during a lunch break. You’ve got these shady types lurking in corners looking like they’re waiting for the bus, and every time they show up, the movie grinds to a halt to remind you that *betting is bad*, kids.

Oddly Specific Details:

• The horses look bored. Like, really bored.
• There is a moment in the dining room where the background extras are just pretending to eat air. It’s mesmerizing if you stare at it for too long.
• The dialogue is so snappy it feels like someone was getting paid per exclamation point.

I couldn't help but compare the pacing to something like The Doll, which feels miles away in tone, yet shares that same weird, stagey DNA of 30s studio filmmaking. It’s not deep, it’s not particularly smart, and the ending is so predictable you can see it coming from the opening credits.

Still, watching Rooney and Garland is like watching a prototype for every teen movie that came later. They had that weird, jittery chemistry that just works, even when the script gives them absolutely nothing to do but stand around and wait for the next race.

It’s not a masterpiece, and honestly, if you’re looking for a serious look at the horse racing world, look literally anywhere else. But if you want to see a bunch of people in hats running around trying to fix a race, you’ll find it here.

Just don't expect to remember much of it by tomorrow. It’s fluff, but it’s well-made fluff. 🍿