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5.4/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 5.4/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Trouble in Toyland remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you have any patience for old, low-budget variety shorts, you might find Trouble in Toyland kind of endearing. If you need a narrative or anything resembling a coherent script, please steer clear.
It’s essentially a talent showcase where kids parade in front of Santa. Think of it as a very early, very grainy version of a modern reality competition, but with way more accordion.
The pacing is absolutely non-existent. One minute a kid is singing The Hobby Horse Parade, and the next, Nancy Gonzalez is just ripping through a version of La Cucaracha on an accordion. It’s jarring in the best way possible. Accordion playing in a Christmas movie? Sure, why not.
Jackie Clune really gives it her all with When Irish Eyes are Smilin'. You can tell she was told to look directly into the camera lens until her eyes probably hurt. The sheer intensity is actually quite impressive for a short film from this era.
It’s hard not to compare the frantic, disjointed energy here to something like The Voice of Hollywood No. 3. Both films feel like they are just trying to cram as many people in front of a camera as possible before the film stock runs out.
There is no profound takeaway here. It’s just a weird, dusty relic. Sometimes I wonder if these kids knew they were being filmed for posterity or if they just wanted to get home for dinner. The whole thing feels like an ancestor to the kind of chaos you see in One Hysterical Night, just with more tinsel and fewer adults.
Honestly? It’s probably best watched in tiny chunks. The charm starts to wear thin after the fourth or fifth song. But hey, watching a kid master an accordion is definitely something you don't see every day. Accordion solo aside, the whole thing is just a fever dream of 1930s childhood performance art. 🎄