Two Black Crows in Africa: A Dusty Look Back

If you are looking for a breezy, lighthearted watch to kill an hour, you might find something here. If you prefer movies that don't make you cringe at historical attitudes or dated humor, steer clear. Seriously, walk away.

I sat down with this one because I've been digging through some old The Haunted House stuff lately, and honestly, the tonal whiplash is real. This movie doesn't have a plot so much as it has a series of loud interruptions masquerading as jokes. It feels less like a film and more like two guys trying to remember their act while the camera guy gets bored.

The pacing is… well, it doesn't really exist. One minute they're bickering about nothing in particular, and the next they're supposedly in the middle of a jungle, but it looks suspiciously like a backyard with a few palm leaves thrown around. Classic.

There is a moment about twenty minutes in where the dialogue just stops for no reason. Like, they just stand there. It’s awkward. You can tell they were waiting for a laugh that didn't come, or maybe they just forgot the next line. It lingers just long enough to make me check if my internet connection dropped.

The Good, The Bad, and The Really Old

• The props look like they were stolen from a high school play.
• The dialogue is mostly just shouting.
• I’m pretty sure one of the 'wild animals' was just a guy in a very sad rug.

It’s fascinating in a 'why did anyone think this was a good idea' sort of way. If you enjoyed the frantic energy of His First Flame, you might appreciate the desperation here. But there is a lot of dead air. Like, a lot. 🕰️

It gets slightly better when they stop trying to tell a 'story' and just argue. When they aren't pretending to be explorers, it’s just two performers doing what they know. The rest of it? It’s just noise.

I don't think I'll be revisiting this one. It’s a curiosity, sure. A dusty one.