DbcultAccessing Vault...
5.4/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 5.4/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Umpa remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
Look, if you have a massive soft spot for weird, forgotten relics from the 1930s, maybe. But for most people? Absolutely not. You will probably find it grating within the first three minutes.
It’s a bizarre experiment where everyone speaks in rhyme. Everything. Even the stuff that shouldn't rhyme. It’s like a nursery rhyme gone wrong at a sanitarium.
So, Jack Osterman sees a lady. He gets flustered. Then he starts saying 'Umpa' over and over again. That's the whole hook. It’s not funny, but it’s definitely persistent.
I found myself actually laughing, but mostly because of how uncomfortable the whole thing feels. The dialogue is so forced it sounds like the actors are fighting for their lives against the script. It makes Tingel-Tangel look like a normal documentary by comparison.
The songs are… well, they’re there. And they use the same melody at least twice. I’m pretty sure they just hoped nobody would notice. 🎶
The nurses in this film are truly something else. They are supposed to be temptresses, I guess? But they mostly just dance around while poor Jack tries to figure out how to stop saying the word 'Umpa'. It’s an odd choice for a comedy, or whatever this is supposed to be.
You can tell they were trying to capture that Woman Haters vibe, but it falls flat. It feels like a skit that got dragged out into a nightmare. I’ve seen some strange things in my time, but watching a man have a breakdown in rhyme is a new one for me.
Anyway. If you’re into cinematic accidents, dive in. Otherwise, maybe stick to something where people speak in regular sentences. Or don't. Maybe you need a little more 'Umpa' in your life. 🤷♂️