6.3/10
Senior Film Conservator

A definitive 6.3/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. Waltz Around the Stefanstower remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you have a soft spot for pre-war Viennese fluff, you might actually enjoy Waltz Around the Stefanstower. If you’re looking for anything with actual teeth, stay away. It’s light, it’s fluffy, and it’s about as substantial as a day-old pastry. 🥐
Our lead is a lawyer who drives a cab. Because apparently, the legal profession in Vienna wasn't cutting it. It’s one of those movies that relies entirely on the 'oh no, who is he going to pick?' mechanic. It’s not exactly Naughty But Nice, but it tries to capture that same frantic energy.
The guy is romancing both a widowed countess and her adopted daughter. You can feel the sweat dripping off the screenplay every time he has to jump out of a room to avoid getting caught. It’s classic farce, I guess, but it feels like it’s been done a thousand times better elsewhere.
There’s a scene where he’s driving the cab and the lighting in the background looks like it was painted by a toddler. I swear, the backdrop didn't even move for a solid thirty seconds. It’s almost charming in how cheap it feels. 🚕
It’s not as soul-crushing as The Unknown Soldier, but it lacks the genuine spark of something like The Gilded Lily. It just sits there, existing. It’s a movie you put on while you fold laundry.
There is one moment where he tries to be smooth, but he just trips over a rug instead. I’m pretty sure that wasn't in the script, but they kept it in. It was the most honest part of the whole film. 🎞️
Don't expect a masterpiece. Just expect a lot of people walking through doors at the wrong time and acting surprised about it. Honestly, I think the cab probably had more personality than the lawyer. At least the cab didn't have to deal with the messy romantic subplot.