Wenn die Musik nicht wär: A dusty, piano-heavy detour

Is this for you?

If you like black-and-white dramas where everyone speaks in complete, polite sentences and Franz Liszt is treated like a local celebrity, you might find some charm here. Honestly, if you hate slow-burn period pieces or get bored by watching people practice scales, stay far, far away. This isn't exactly The Madcap Musician in terms of energy, that's for sure.

The whole thing feels like a dusty book you found in an attic. It’s got that specific kind of 1930s German earnestness where everything is slightly too dramatic for its own good.

Wait, Liszt is the hero?

It’s a bit weird. Franz Liszt just kind of shows up and starts pulling strings for a guy who can barely hold a conversation with his own love interest. The tutor is so unworldly he makes a toddler look like a diplomat. It's frustrating to watch him get pushed around by the villain, but I guess that’s the point.

There is this one scene where they are arguing about music theory, and I swear I could hear the film reel humming louder than the actors. The villain is just so classic, too—you know he's evil because he wears his hat slightly tilted and has a smug grin that never leaves his face.

• The piano playing is actually quite nice, even if it's clearly dubbed.
• The sets in Munich look like they were made out of cardboard, which is actually kind of endearing.
• There's a moment where a character trips over a rug that feels like it was left in by mistake.

It reminds me a bit of the vibe in So ein Flegel, just with more obsession over piano chords. The pacing is a total drag in the second act. You can practically feel the movie trying to stall until it’s time for the final performance.

Look, it’s not a masterpiece. It’s a relic. If you’re a fan of old German cinema, you’ll find bits of it interesting. Everyone else will probably spend the whole time wondering if the piano tutor ever learns how to actually talk to a woman without needing a famous composer to hold his hand. 🎹