7/10
Senior Film Conservator

A definitive 7/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. What -- No Spinach? remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
If you have ten minutes to kill and want to watch a sailor man get absolutely walloped, What — No Spinach? is exactly what you need. It’s perfect for anyone who likes their cartoons loud, mean, and moving at a million miles an hour. If you prefer your animation soft and sentimental, or if you get stressed out by property damage, you should probably skip this one. ⚓
The whole thing kicks off in a diner, which is basically just a death trap waiting to happen. Wimpy shows up, looking as greasy and pathetic as ever, and starts mooching burgers like it's his full-time job. It’s honestly impressive how much disdain you can feel for a cartoon character who just wants a sandwich.
When Popeye and Bluto finally start throwing hands, it’s not graceful. It’s clunky and heavy, like two lead weights smashing into each other. There’s this one bit where Bluto is literally using the diner furniture as blunt instruments, and the way the table splinters—it just feels raw. You don't see that kind of reckless, messy energy in modern digital stuff. It’s like the animators were drawing through pure adrenaline.
I couldn't help but think about Flip's Circus while watching this, mainly because both films have that same frantic, "everything is going wrong at once" vibe. But where that one feels like a carnival, this is just a brawl. It’s not trying to be a masterpiece. It’s just trying to keep the momentum going until someone gets tossed through a wall.
Is it a classic? Maybe in the way a broken plate is a classic. It’s rough around the edges, the pacing is totally erratic, and Popeye’s spinach consumption feels almost like a cheat code he uses when he's run out of ideas. Still, I caught myself grinning when the diner eventually turned into a pile of toothpicks. 🍔