Wife vs. Secretary is a weirdly cozy 1930s office drama

Is this one worth your time?

You should probably watch this if you have a soft spot for 1930s office decor and actors who know how to hold a telephone like it is a weapon. It is a really good pick for a lazy Sunday afternoon when you do not want to think too hard but want to see famous people being charming.

If you hate movies where the whole plot could be solved by one honest conversation, you might want to skip it. You will probably find the 'drama' a bit annoying if you are looking for something with actual stakes. 🍸

I went into this expecting a big catfight because of the title, but it is actually much quieter than that. It is more about how people let their friends get into their heads.

Clark Gable plays Van, a guy who runs a publishing empire and seems to genuinely love his wife, Linda (played by Myrna Loy). They have this weirdly cute relationship where they call each other 'Vannie' and 'Linny' and it almost feels like they are in their own little world.

Then you have Jean Harlow as 'Whitey,' the secretary. Honestly, she is the best part of the whole thing. She is not a home-wrecker or a vamp; she is just really, really good at her job and knows which ties Van should wear.

It is actually kind of refreshing to see a movie from 1936 where a woman is portrayed as being vital to a business. Whitey basically keeps the whole magazine running while Gable wanders around looking handsome and stressed.

The weird little things I noticed

• There is a scene where Gable gets a toy boat and he looks more excited about it than anything else in the movie.
• James Stewart shows up as Whitey’s boyfriend and he looks like he is about twelve years old. He is mostly there to pout.
• The office sets are absolutely massive. I do not think an office that big has ever existed in real life.
• Myrna Loy’s hats in this movie are a structural marvel. I kept wondering how they stayed on her head.

The plot kicks into gear when Van has to go to Havana for a secret business deal and takes Whitey with him. He does not tell his wife because he doesn't want to worry her, which is obviously the dumbest thing he could do. 🤦‍♂️

There is this one shot of Myrna Loy sitting at home, just looking at the clock, and you can see her brain just spiraling. It is a very human moment. We have all been there, just making up fake scenarios in our heads until we are mad.

I think the movie is a bit similar to Armstrong's Wife in how it handles the whole 'is he cheating or not' vibe. Though this one feels a lot more polished and expensive.

One thing that bothered me was how much the mother-in-law character just stirs the pot. She is like a human version of a Twitter troll, just dropping hints that Van is up to no good for no reason at all.

The pacing gets a bit slow in the middle when they are in Cuba. It feels like the movie forgot it was a drama and tried to be a travelogue for ten minutes. I found myself checking how much time was left during the long scenes in the hotel lobby.

The ending is... well, it is a bit of a shrug. It happens very fast and everything just sort of clicks back into place without a lot of screaming. It is polite. Maybe a bit too polite for a movie called Wife vs. Secretary.

If you liked the grand scale of something like The Plainsman, you might find this a bit small, but it has that same 'Golden Age' glow to it. The lighting is very soft and everyone looks like they are made of porcelain.

I liked that Jean Harlow got to play someone smart and capable. Usually, they just had her being a 'blonde bombshell,' but here she is the one solving all the problems. It makes you sad that she didn't get more roles like this before she passed away.

Final thoughts from my notes

It is not a masterpiece, but it is a very comfy movie. It feels like wearing a pair of old slippers that are slightly too big but very soft.

The chemistry between the three leads is what saves it from being a boring soap opera. They all seem to respect each other, which is rare for a 'love triangle' movie.

Also, the way they talk about 'publishing' makes it sound like they are launching rockets into space. It is very dramatic for a magazine business. I guess things were just more intense back then. ✍️

Watch it for Harlow's performance and Gable's mustache. Skip it if you want a plot that actually makes sense by modern standards of communication.