Summary
A ruby glides like a guilty comet through the Carr mansion’s gilded dusk, shuttling from patriarch to parlor, from parlor to Nell’s scuffed Oxford, from Oxford to Cluney’s overcoat, from coat to phantom detective, until every finger in the house—aristocrat or guttersnipe—gleams blood-orange under suspicion. Two weddings hover like chandeliers of crystal nerves; two bridegrooms, one physician and one broker, discover that their own pockets have become echoing confessionals. Into this danse macabre pirouettes Jack Doogan, a pickpocket with matinee-idol bones, masquerading as Scotland Yard’s finest while his heart beats only for Nell, the maid whose light touch could steal a duke’s conscience. Stock certificates blossom wings, a revolver trades loyalties faster than a waltz, and by the time the moon climbs the portico three couples—legal, larcenous, and lovelorn—stand before a minister while the police comb the garden for a fugitive who was never really gone. The film ends not on a kiss but on a shrug: ownership itself has been pickpocketed by desire.
Synopsis
Mr. Carr is a kleptomaniac and his two daughters, Madge and Joan, are to be married to Mr. Cluney and Dr. Willoughby, respectively. Pretty Nell Jones, a light-fingered maid, is engaged that afternoon by Mrs. Carr after promising her sweetheart, Jack Doogan, a crook, that she will assist him to do one last job. Peculiar and mysterious things begin to happen in the Carr home with the arrival of the happy bridegrooms-to-be. A ruby suddenly disappears from the library table, into Nell's shoe, but the empty box is discovered by Cluney in his overcoat pocket a few minutes later. The family promptly suspects Nell, and Cluney telephones for a detective. While he is in the act of 'phoning, Nell slips the jewel back into the box where it is discovered by Mr. Carr just as Cluney lays down the 'phone. Cluney is stunned by the discovery and confides in Dr. Willoughby, who unsympathetically informs Cluney that he evidently suffers from unconscious kleptomania. The situation is further complicated by the arrival of Nell's sweetheart, Jack, whom she tells of the expected detective. This dignitary is met by Nell who, after deftly stripping him of star and watch, introduces him to Jack as Mr. Cluney. Jack sends him away on a mysterious mission and Nell then introduces Jack to the family as the detective from central headquarters. Cluney confides to him that he suspects himself of being a kleptomaniac and asks that Jack keep a close eye on him. Complications set in thick and fast. With two kleptomaniacs and two real crooks and a double wedding pending. Mrs. Carr has her hands full. Wedding presents disappear and reappear in the most astonishing way. A burly investor leaves $10,000 in steel stock as security for a loan and when he returns with cash to redeem his collateral, both stock and money disappear into Jack Doogan's pocket. This leads to the visit of a wagon-load of police but before the captain can read his search-warrant, even that vanishes through Doogan's nimble fingers into Mr. Carr's side pocket. Ever cocksure Dr. Willoughby shares the general hysteria and finds himself possessed of the stock securities but unable to replace them without openly branding himself a thief. The return of the detective adds a touch of drama to the evening. With an automobile liberally filled with movable valuables of all kinds ready for departure, Jack draws his gun and under its cover makes his escape, hurrying to the upper rooms of the building with faithful Nell at his heels. Believing him to have jumped through an open window, the police scatter out-of-doors and a second later Dr. Willoughby stops Jack and Nell in a hallway at the point of his revolver. This Jack deftly wrenches from the doctor's hand and again has the company at his mercy. But Nell longs for peace and the good-will of her erstwhile employers and so prevails upon Jack to throw away his gun. Then follow explanations and forgiveness. Jack shows his marriage license and the minister ends an exciting evening with a triple wedding.
Review Excerpt
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The Glint of Guilt: How Stop Thief! Turned Larceny into Lace
Imagine, if you can, a world where objects possess libidos—where a Burmese ruby throbs with voyeuristic glee every time it slips from one trembling palm to another. Carlyle Moore’s screenplay for Stop Thief! stages precisely such an erotics of petty larceny, a 1915 one-reel riot that compresses the entire moral algebra of Eden into forty-three rollicking minutes. The Carr mansion, all wainscot and wainscot wit, becomes a petri dish fo..."
