I watched Bitter Friends (1928) and honestly Eddie Lambert is a mood

If you have about twenty minutes to kill and you don't mind a movie that looks like it was buried in a backyard for fifty years, Bitter Friends is actually pretty fun. You should watch it if you like seeing people get frustrated over nothing. You will probably hate it if you need a plot that actually makes sense or characters that act like real humans.

I found this one late at night when I was supposed to be sleeping. It features Eddie Lambert, who has one of those faces that just looks perpetually worried. He spends a lot of the movie looking like he forgot where he parked his car.

The whole thing is about these two guys who are supposed to be buddies. But they are just... awful to each other. It reminded me a bit of the vibe in All Wet, where everything that can go wrong just goes wrong immediately.

The mustache situation

Eddie Lambert has this mustache that seems to have a life of its own. In some shots, I swear it looks like it is sliding off his face. I kept waiting for it to just fall into his soup or something.

There is this one scene where they are sitting at a table. The table is way too small for two grown men. They keep bumping elbows and the look of pure rage on Lambert's face is actually kind of relatable. We have all been there when a friend is just breathing too loud and you want to scream.

Addie McPhail shows up and she is basically the only person in the movie who seems to know how to act. She has these big, expressive eyes that tell you exactly how much she regrets being in this room. It is a lot like the energy in The Egg, where the comedy comes from just how uncomfortable everyone is.

The film print I saw was pretty rough. There are these big black lines that flicker across the screen every few seconds. Honestly, it kind of adds to the charm? It makes it feel like you are watching something you weren't supposed to find.

Wait, what happened to the dog?

There is a dog in one scene that just disappears. Like, it walks behind a chair and never comes back out. I spent the next five minutes wondering if the dog was okay or if they just forgot they had a dog on set. That is the kind of movie this is.

It is not as weird as The Wildcat, but it has its moments. The way the characters move is so jerky and fast. It feels like they all drank ten cups of coffee right before the director yelled action.

I noticed that the set looks very flimsy. When someone slams a door, the entire wall wobbles. It makes the whole world feel like it's made of cardboard and hope. I love that stuff.

The pacing is a bit of a mess, though. It starts really fast, then there is this long middle part where they just stare at each other. Then it ends so suddenly I thought my player had crashed. It just... stops.

• Pros: Eddie Lambert's facial expressions are gold. The table scene is genuinely funny. It's short.
• Cons: The print is messy. The plot is basically non-existent. The missing dog is worrying.

I think I liked it more than No Trifling with Love, mostly because it doesn't try to be serious. It knows it is just a silly little short about two guys being jerks to each other.

There is a moment where Edward Clark enters the frame and he looks so confused. I don't think he knew he was being filmed. He just kind of wanders in, looks at the camera, and then starts doing his bit. It feels very unrehearsed.

Is it a masterpiece? No. Is it better than most of the stuff on TV right now? Maybe. At least it is honest about what it is.

If you're into the history of silent shorts, you've probably seen worse. It's definitely better than some of the stuff like The Silent Mystery which can be a real slog to get through.

I kept thinking about how much work went into these old films. Even a dumb comedy like this required someone to hand-crank a camera. That's a lot of physical labor for a joke about a wobbly table.

The ending is the weirdest part. It doesn't really resolve anything. They just kind of give up. I respect that. Sometimes in life, you don't win, you just stop fighting because you are tired.

Anyway, give it a look if you find it. It's a nice little time capsule of 1928 humor. Just don't expect it to change your life or anything. It's just two guys being bitter. Just like the title says.