Humphrey Bogart looks so weird in Broadway's Like That (1930)

Is it worth the ten minutes?

Honestly, yeah. If you like seeing legends before they were legends, this is a goldmine.

You should watch this if you're a movie nerd who wants to see Humphrey Bogart looking like a scared college kid. You'll probably hate it if you can't stand the crackly, hollow sound of early 1930s talkies.

It's basically a Vitaphone short. That means a lot of standing around and singing directly at the camera.

Ruth Etting is the star here. She works in a music store, which is such a specific 1930s vibe. People just walked in and asked you to play a song on the piano so they could decide to buy the paper music for it.

Imagine doing that today at a Best Buy. 🎹

Ruth is great. She has this way of looking genuinely sad while singing that doesn't feel like she's 'acting' for the back row. She just feels... tired.

Then we get Bogart. Humphrey Bogart. He's playing a guy named Charlie.

He doesn't have the hat. He doesn't have the cigarette. He doesn't even have that cool lisp yet. He's just a guy in a suit who looks like he's trying very hard to remember his next line.

It's weirdly comforting to see a giant of cinema look this awkward. It makes me feel better about my own bad presentations at work.

The plot moves fast. Like, blink and you miss the wedding fast. Ruth is all set to marry Charlie, and then his actual wife walks in. Oops.

Mary Philips plays the wife. Fun fact: she was actually Bogart's wife in real life back then. You can tell they have a certain energy, even if the script is thin as a cracker.

Joan Blondell pops up too. She's just a 'girlfriend' in the shop, but she already has that spark. She's much more natural than the guys in this.

There is this one shot where Ruth has to keep singing after her heart is broken. The camera just stays on her. It goes on a bit too long, but it works because you can see her eyes getting actualy watery.

I noticed a weird thing in the background of the music shop. There’s a poster that looks upside down, but I couldn't tell for sure because the film grain is so thick. It kept distracting me from the dialogue.

The transition from the store to the 'confrontation' is jarring. One second they are talking about sheet music, the next, lives are being ruined. Early sound films had no chill.

If you're looking for more of this era, you might want to check out The Girl He Didn't Buy or maybe Those Who Pay. They have that same 'we just figured out how to record voices' energy.

I also kept thinking about The Marriage Chance while watching this. There’s a lot of movies from this year about women getting the short end of the stick at the altar.

The ending isn't really an ending. It just sort of... stops. Ruth sings some more. Charlie/Bogart leaves. The curtains basically close on your face.

It's not a masterpiece. It's a curiosity.

I like it because it feels like a time capsule. You can see the dust on the piano. You can hear the static in the air. It's a little messy, just like real life was in 1930.

Also, seeing Bogart play a guy who is basically a 'beta' version of a villain is hilarious. He’s not a tough guy yet. He’s just a liar in a bad tie.

• Best moment: Ruth Etting’s final song.
• Worst moment: Bogart trying to look 'romantic' near the beginning. It's painful.
• Random detail: The way people held their hats back then was so formal. They treat a fedora like it's made of glass.

Go watch it if you have ten minutes and a cup of coffee. It's better than scrolling through TikTok, anyway.

Check out Roaring Rails if you want something with a bit more movement, though. This one is very stationary.