Calford on Horseback: A Wobbly, Wonderful Western Trip

If you're looking for a Sunday afternoon escape back to a simpler time, 'Calford on Horseback' might just hit the spot. Folks who appreciate classic Westerns, even the ones a little rough around the edges, will probably find something to smile about here. But if silent stares and a plot that moves at its own sweet, unhurried pace drive you crazy, then yeah, skip this one. It's definitely not for everyone, and modern pacing will make some folks just want to fast-forward through the long stretches of... well, riding.

The movie opens with Calford, whoever he is, just on his horse. It's a lot of riding. Like, a lot of riding. You know, establishing shots of wide-open spaces, which are genuinely pretty in that old film way. But after a while, you start to wonder if he's actually going anywhere or just enjoying the scenery for an extended period.

Dorothy Gulliver plays the damsel, I guess we'd call her. She spends a good chunk of the film looking worried, which honestly, felt pretty accurate for the era's heroines. Her distress is believable, even when the situations she finds herself in are, shall we say, a bit dramatically convenient.

Then there's George J. Lewis. He's always good for a scowl and some villainous posturing. His character feels like he walked straight out of a dozen other Westerns, but that's part of the fun, right? You get exactly what you expect from him.

There's this one moment where Calford is trying to track someone through the desert. The camera just holds on his face for what feels like an eternity. Is he thinking deep thoughts? Or did the director just like the way the sun hit his jawline? Hard to tell, but it certainly lingers.

The fight scenes, when they happen, are… energetic. You can almost feel the dust kicked up. One particular saloon brawl has a guy get knocked out by a punch that clearly misses by a solid foot, but he clutches his jaw and goes down like a sack of potatoes. It's the kind of charming imperfection you don't see anymore. Gotta love it! 🤠

And the horses! They're definitely the unsung heroes here. You notice the same few horses popping up in different scenes, which makes you think about the logistics of early filmmaking. I swear one of them had a slightly different painted mark on its flank for a different scene. Small detail, but I kept noticing it.

The plot, such as it is, unfolds slowly. It’s not about shocking twists; it’s more about the journey and the *vibe*. You can almost feel the film trying to convince you that these stakes are high, even when they feel a bit low. It’s a very earnest effort, I'll give it that.

One reaction shot of Eddie Phillips' character during a tense moment lasts so long it almost becomes funny. He's trying so hard to look intense, and you can just imagine the director yelling 'Hold it! Hold it longer!' from off-camera. It’s a very human, slightly awkward bit of cinema.

Honestly, the movie gets noticeably better once you stop taking it too seriously and just appreciate it for what it is: a simple, earnest attempt at a Western story. It’s not trying to be Heir of the Ages with some grand statement. It’s just Calford, on his horse, doing… stuff. And sometimes, that’s exactly what you need.

It's a testament to the old Hollywood machine that even a film like this, which probably didn't have a massive budget, still feels like a complete story. It's got its moments of genuine charm, even if some parts drag a bit. A perfectly fine way to spend some time, if you're in the right mood.