Cash and Carry: Why the Stooges shouldn't be in charge of national security

If you've ever wondered what would happen if Moe, Larry, and Curly were tasked with national security, Cash and Carry is your answer. It is worth a watch if you just want to shut your brain off for twenty minutes, though folks who need a coherent plot to stay awake will probably hate it. It's basically a series of slaps held together by a thin string of 'helping a sick kid' sentimentality.

The whole thing starts in their dumpyard shack. It's a miracle they don't get lockjaw just living there. They find this poor crippled boy and his sister, and suddenly, the Stooges are acting like the local charity board. It’s sweet, in a weirdly loud way.

Then come the con men. Of course, they buy a map. Because why wouldn't they? The map leads to a house that sits right on top of a U.S. Treasury vault. The digging sequence is exactly as clumsy as you’d hope. It’s mostly just them hitting each other with shovels while pretending to be master treasure hunters.

The transition into the vault is completely ridiculous. They just pop through the floor like gophers. The way the guards react is hilarious, mostly because they look like they’re waiting for their lunch break rather than guarding the country's gold. It reminded me a bit of the frantic pacing in The Anvil Chorus, where things just happen because the script says they must.

FDR showing up to grant them amnesty is the cherry on top of this nonsense. It feels like the writers just got tired and threw the President at the screen to wrap it up. It’s not smart, but it’s fun.

Observations from the sidelines:

• The sound design when they hit each other is still the best part. That hollow 'bonk' never gets old.
• I swear Curly is actually flying during one of the scuffles. Physics were just a suggestion in the 1930s.
• The little boy in the shack has a look on his face like he’s reconsidering his choice of heroes.
• That Treasury vault floor must have been made of papier-mâché.

It’s not a masterpiece. It’s just the boys being the boys. If you liked their other stuff, you'll like this. If you’re looking for high-brow cinema, you're looking at the wrong dumpyard. 🙄