Charlie Chan in Egypt: Mummies, Secrets, and a Surprisingly Young Rita Hayworth

Is it worth your time?

If you like old-school detective mysteries that don't take themselves too seriously, sure. You'll probably dig this if you enjoy 1930s camp or have a weird soft spot for archeology-themed crime flicks. But if you hate dated stereotypes or need a movie with a fast pace, you're gonna have a bad time. Stay away.

Warner Oland is just doing his thing here. There’s a comfort to it, honestly. Like putting on an old, slightly itchy sweater. He walks through these Egyptian sets with a calm that makes everyone else look like they’re vibrating out of their skin.

The whole thing is built around this tomb excavation. It’s supposed to feel mysterious and spooky. Instead, it feels like a stage play that someone accidentally left the lights on for. You can almost see the wires on the set pieces if you squint hard enough. 🏺

The Rita Hayworth Factor

Listen, seeing a very young Rita Hayworth in this is just plain weird and cool. She’s not the icon she became later, but she’s already got that look. Every time she’s on screen, the movie suddenly feels like it’s actually awake.

Then you’ve got Stepin Fetchit. Man, this is the rough part of watching these old movies. The character is just uncomfortable to sit through. It really stops the movie dead in its tracks every time he shows up to do his bit.

The murder mystery itself? It’s fine, I guess. You’ve got the body hidden in the mummy wraps, which is a nice touch of dark humor. It reminded me a bit of the frantic energy in Smashing the Plot, though maybe a little less chaotic.

• That one shot of the sand dunes looks suspiciously like a painting.
• Oland’s delivery is so dry it’s basically a desert of its own.
• The dialogue is mostly just people explaining things that already happened.

There’s a moment near the middle where they’re talking about ancient curses for way too long. The silence in the room gets so heavy you can hear the projector humming in your own living room. I checked my watch twice. ⌚

It’s not trying to be a deep, life-changing experience. It’s a movie about a guy in a suit solving a crime in the desert. Sometimes that’s enough. Other times, it’s just a way to kill eighty minutes before bed.

I don't think anyone involved thought they were making art. They were making a product. And honestly? I sort of respect the lack of pretension here. It’s just a movie. Nothing more, nothing less.