Collegiate (1935) Review - Sweaty Jack Oakie and Vinegar Ned Sparks

You should only watch Collegiate if you have a deep, slightly worrying tolerance for 1930s musical fluff. It’s perfect for people who want to see a very young Betty Grable dancing in the background, but anyone looking for an actual plot will probably want to throw their shoe at the screen. 🎬

The setup is so incredibly basic it barely qualify as a story. Jack Oakie inherits a girls' school that is basically broke, so his brilliant plan is to turn it into a musical extravaganza.

Classic 30s logic, right? You don't pay the bank, you just hire a 100-piece orchestra.

Oakie is his usual self here—loud, incredibly sweaty, and grinning so hard his face must have ached for weeks after filming. He has this weird, chaotic charm that works, even when the jokes are absolutely terrible.

But the real reason to watch this is Ned Sparks.

He plays the grumpy business manager and looks like he was baptized in vinegar. Every time he sighs, I felt that in my soul.

The Weird and the Annoying

Then there is Joe Penner.

If you don't know who Penner is, count yourself lucky. He was a massive radio star back then, but his whole gimmick is shouting "Wanna buy a duck?" in a high-pitched voice.

It gets old after about four seconds. In this movie, he plays some eccentric millionaire's son and just... wanders around being obnoxious.

There’s a scene where he’s trying to escape some girls and hides in a gym, and the physical comedy is just so loud and clunky. It feels like a precursor to the chaotic energy in Roars and Uproars, but with less actual charm.

The musical numbers are where the movie actually gets fun, though.

Frances Langford sings a couple of tunes and she has this incredibly rich, smooth voice that makes you forget how silly the rest of the movie is.

Also, keep your eyes peeled for a very young Betty Grable. She’s not the star yet, but you can already tell she’s got that spark that would make her huge later on.

Some random notes I scribbled down:

• The set design for the school looks less like an academy and more like a fancy hotel lobby where they forgot to put the furniture.
• Mack Gordon and Harry Revel show up as themselves, which is a neat touch for music nerds.
• One tap dance routine goes on so long the floorboards sound like they are about to splinter into dust.
• Why does everyone in 1935 wear trousers that come up to their armpits? It looks incredibly uncomfortable.

It’s not a masterpiece, not even close. It has the same goofy, disorganized feel as The Man Who Lost Himself, where everyone is just running around hoping a plot happens.

But if you like old-school Hollywood nonsense, it’s a harmless way to waste eighty minutes. Just prepare to have that stupid "Will I Ever Tell You?" song stuck in your head for a week. 🎶