Colonel Blood: A dusty relic with a bit of a twinkle

Is this worth the watch?

Honestly, you probably already know if you are the kind of person who enjoys 1930s British historical dramas. If you find the pacing of The Valley of Decision too fast, you might actually like this. If you need explosions or a plot that moves faster than a polite stroll, skip it.

There is a lot of talk about crowns and jewels. So much talk. The actual heist attempt is less of a high-stakes thriller and more of a “hey, let’s see if we can get away with this” vibe. It’s quaint, I suppose.

The vibe is... very 1934

The sets feel like they were put together during a lunch break. Not that it matters! There is a certain charm to how they handle the scale. Everyone is constantly wearing hats, even when it feels like they should be taking them off. Why is everyone so sweaty while looking so stiff? 🧐

Frank Cellier holds the whole thing together. He plays Blood with this weary, slightly amused look that suggests he knows the movie is a bit of a mess. He’s the only one who feels like he’s actually having fun.

• The dialogue is incredibly polite for a story about a major crime.
• I’m fairly sure a chair moved between shots in the throne room scene.
• The lighting makes everyone look like they are standing in a permanent fog.

I found myself drifting off during the middle act. It’s the part where the movie stops being a fun heist flick and turns into a long, drawn-out lecture on 17th-century loyalty. Yikes. It could have used a trim, or maybe just a bit more personality in the supporting cast.

It isn't exactly high art, but it has a pulse. It reminds me a bit of the slow, methodical pace in Den tredie magt, just without the political bite. Sometimes you just want to watch a guy try to steal a hat that happens to be a crown. If you catch it on a lazy afternoon, it’ll do just fine.

Just don't expect it to change your life. It’s just a movie, after all. 🤷‍♂️