Is Cowboy Blues (1937) even a real movie?

Look, you probably shouldn't watch Cowboy Blues if you have literally anything else to do today. It is one of those movies that feels like it was filmed during someone's lunch break on a very hot day. If you like seeing the 'seams' of old Hollywood, you might find it charming. If you want a story that makes sense? You’re going to hate it. 🌵

Harry Bailey and John Foster are the leads here, but calling them leads is a bit of a stretch. They mostly just stand around and look at the horizon. It’s like they’re waiting for a bus that’s never going to show up in 1937.

The first thing you’ll notice is the dust. There is so much of it. Every time a horse moves, it looks like a smoke bomb went off. I felt like I needed to cough just sitting on my couch watching the screen. 😷

It reminds me a bit of The Squaw Man but without any of the actual budget. Or the effort. Or the coherent plot points that make you care about the characters.

The hats are the real stars of the show, honestly. John Foster wears this ten-gallon hat that looks like it’s trying to swallow his entire head. He has to tilt his whole body back just to look at the person he’s talking to. It’s the most unintentionally funny thing I’ve seen in a long time. 🤠

The sound quality is... well, let's just say it's 'vintage.' It sounds like everyone is talking through a tin can filled with gravel. Sometimes the background noise of the wind is louder than the actual dialogue. I think I missed half the plot because of a particularly loud breeze.

Random notes from my notebook:

• The horses look incredibly bored, like they’d rather be anywhere else.
• One guy keeps touching his gun but never actually pulls it out. Why?
• There is a dog in the background of one scene that just walks in circles for a solid minute.
• The editing is so jumpy I thought my internet was lagging.

There is this one scene where Harry Bailey tries to look 'sad.' He just looks like he’s trying to remember if he left the stove on back at the ranch. It’s not bad acting, exactly. It’s just very stiff and awkward in that way early sound movies often were.

If you’ve seen Sharp Shooters, you know how these old shorts can be hit or miss. This one is a miss, but it’s a charming miss. It’s like finding an old photo of your great-grandpa where he looks really uncomfortable in his clothes.

I noticed a weird mistake around the ten-minute mark. The sun is suddenly in a completely different spot in the sky during a conversation. The actors are in the exact same positions, but the shadows just jumped five feet to the left. I kind of love that nobody cared enough to fix it. ☀️

The dialogue is mostly just 'Yup' and 'I reckon' and 'Over there.' It’s not exactly Shakespeare. But then again, it’s a movie called Cowboy Blues, so what did I expect? It’s basically just guys in high-waisted pants talking about cattle.

Speaking of pants, they are incredibly high. Like, almost up to their armpits. I don't know how they breathed, let alone rode horses. It looks painful. 👖

It feels a bit like A Girl's Folly in terms of that weird, experimental vibe. Except it’s not really experimental, it’s just sort of... empty. It’s a movie that doesn't really know what it wants to be when it grows up.

“I’ll meet you at the creek,” says one character. They never go to the creek.

The movie doesn't really have a climax. It just sort of stops. The screen goes black and you’re left wondering if the file got corrupted. It didn’t. That was just the end of the movie. It’s very abrupt. 🎬

Is it worth it? Only if you’re a film nerd who wants to see every single western ever made. Otherwise, you can probably skip this one and not feel like you missed anything important. It’s a dusty little relic that is better left on the shelf.

But hey, if you like looking at horses and very large hats, you might have a decent time. Just don't expect a masterpiece. It’s just a 1937 job that someone got paid to do. And that’s fine. It’s just... fine.