Eskapade: A spy romp that feels like a long, dusty train ride

Is it worth your time?

If you like movies where people talk fast and smoke in every scene, you’ll probably have a good time with Eskapade. It’s got that old-fashioned spy energy that keeps you guessing, even if the plot feels like it’s held together by tape sometimes. If you hate old films or get bored when nobody is blowing things up, just skip it.

The whole thing kicks off with this weird, forced chemistry between Helene and Arthur. Honestly, Arthur looks like he just walked out of a grocery store and straight into a geopolitical mess. The way he just goes along with being a 'married couple' to cross the border is so fast it makes your head spin. There’s no questioning, no pushback. He’s just in.

The border crossing scene is actually pretty tense. You can feel the room get smaller when the officials start asking questions. It reminded me a bit of the frantic energy in The Eleventh Hour, though obviously a totally different kind of vibe. The camera lingers on these really minor details—like the way a guy shifts his hat—that actually tell you more about his nerves than any dialogue could.

The prison stuff is… a lot.

Once they get into the meat of the prison break, the movie changes gears. It stops being a road trip and starts being a stress test. There’s a scene in the fortress where the shadows are just huge. It’s effective, but maybe a bit heavy-handed. You can tell they really wanted you to know that these people were in trouble.

I caught myself looking at the background extras more than the main cast. There’s one guard in the back left of the frame who just stands there for like three solid minutes without blinking. It’s oddly hypnotic. Was he bored? Was he acting? I have no idea, but it’s a tiny, weird detail that stuck with me.

The pacing is a bit of a mess. It sprints through the setup and then crawls through the middle, almost like it’s afraid of finishing the story too early. It’s not a masterpiece, and it’s certainly not Laila, but there’s a strange, dusty charm to it. It feels like finding a box of old photographs in an attic.

• That one scene with the train whistles is way too loud.
• Helene’s hats are the real stars of this movie, seriously.
• The lighting in the prison is very 'dramatic mustache-twirling villain' energy.
• Arthur’s confusion feels surprisingly real, even if it’s probably just bad acting.

Overall, it’s a bit of a relic. It’s not going to change your life, but it’s a solid way to kill an hour if you’re in the mood for some vintage spies and questionable life choices. 🕵️‍♂️