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3.8/10
Senior Film Conservator
A definitive 3.8/10 rating for a film that redefined the boundaries of cult cinema. F-Man remains a cornerstone of transgressive art.
Honestly? Only if you have a massive soft spot for mid-30s slapstick and guys in fedoras talking way too fast. If you're looking for a tight crime thriller, look elsewhere. But if you want to see a guy try to fumble his way into a badge, sure, give it a whirl.
Jack Haley is the engine here, and he's doing that thing where he looks constantly worried about where his next line is coming from. He plays Johnny Dime, a guy whose ambition is significantly larger than his actual brainpower. He wants to move from an 'F' to a 'G' rating, which is a cute premise, I guess. It’s like watching a kid try to play adult without having any of the tools.
William Frawley is in this too, playing the real agent, Rogan. He’s the only one acting like he’s in a different movie—maybe something like The Winning of Barbara Worth, if he could trade the suit for a cowboy hat. He’s just tired. You can see it in his eyes whenever Johnny starts talking. He’s the audience surrogate, basically.
The pacing is weird.
Sometimes it’s a sprint, sometimes it just sits there. There’s a scene about halfway through where they’re in an office, and I swear the background extras are just wandering around aimlessly. One guy in the back is reading a newspaper for a solid minute while chaos is happening ten feet away. It’s hilarious if you catch it.
The whole thing feels like it was put together on a rainy Tuesday. It’s not trying to be The Law of the Woods—thank god for that—but it’s not exactly high art either. It’s just fluff.
Is it going to change your life? No. Will it make you chuckle a couple of times while you’re doing the dishes? Probably. It’s light, it’s forgettable, and sometimes that’s just what you need before bed. Just don't ask too many questions about how these people keep getting hired by the government.