Why Gold Diggers of Broadway is a messy, colorful relic worth squinting at

Look, if you are searching for something to put on while you fold laundry, this probably isn't the one. You actually have to pay a lot of attention to Gold Diggers of Broadway because the audio is so old it sounds like it is being whispered through a rusty tin can.

But yeah, it is definitely worth a look if you want to see where the whole 'musical' genre really got its legs. People who love the history of Hollywood or just want to see what 1929 looked like in bright, fuzzy color will have a good time.

If you can't stand static cameras or people who act with their entire bodies because they don't trust the microphones yet, you will probably hate it. It is loud, it is messy, and it is honestly a miracle that any of it still exists at all.

The plot is simple enough. It is about three chorus girls in New York trying to find rich husbands so they can stop worrying about rent.

They aren't trying to save the world. They just want to make sure they don't have to eat crackers for dinner every night, and I think that's pretty relatable.

Winnie Lightner is the one you really have to watch here. She is like a human firework that won't stop going off in a small room.

Every time she is on screen, the other actors look a little bit worried she might actually knock them over. She has this way of shouting her lines that feels exhausting but also really funny if you're in the right mood.

There is a scene where she is just making these wild, rubbery faces while a guy tries to be serious. It made me laugh out loud, which doesn't usually happen with movies this old.

She just doesn't care about being 'ladylike' or whatever the studios expected back then. She’s just loud and brilliantly annoying.

The color is the big draw for most people. It is two-color Technicolor, which means everything is a weird shade of salmon pink or seafoam green.

It makes the actors look like they have all got a slight fever. Still, it is so much more interesting to look at than just plain black and white, especially when the costumes start spinning.

I noticed this one girl in the background of a party scene. She was wearing a hat that looked like a giant, upside-down tulip made of felt.

She kept adjusting it every few seconds like she was afraid it was going to fly away. It is those little, unpolished moments that make these old movies feel like they were made by actual humans.

Nick Lucas shows up to sing 'Tiptoe Through the Tulips.' He just sits there with his guitar and sings it straight.

It is so quiet and simple compared to the rest of the movie. It is probably the most famous part of the film, and you can see why—it feels like a little breather from all the screaming and dancing.

The sound quality is... well, it is 1929. There is a constant hiss in the background that never really goes away.

It is like the movie is being projected inside a waterfall. You get used to it after ten minutes, but at first, it is a bit of a shock to the ears.

A lot of the scenes feel like they were filmed in one long, terrifying take. People stumble over their words and just keep going because they couldn't afford to stop.

In one scene, a guy almost trips over a rug while walking toward a sofa. He just wobbles and continues his line. I love that they didn't cut that out.

It reminds me a bit of the vibe in Love 'Em and Weep in how it treats the whole 'men with money' situation. Everyone is just trying to get a piece of the pie before it disappears.

The camera almost never moves. It just sits there like a heavy piece of furniture that someone forgot to move out of the way.

You can tell the directors were terrified of the microphones. If an actor moved three inches too far to the left, their voice just turned into muffled static.

I found myself looking at the sets more than the people sometimes. The apartments look so cluttered with random 1920s junk.

There are lamps and vases and weird little statues everywhere. It looks like a high-end thrift store exploded in the middle of the set.

Ann Pennington has a dance number that is just... a lot. She shakes her shoulders so fast I thought she might actually dislocate something.

It is that 'jazz age' energy that feels a bit desperate if you think about it too long. Like they knew the Great Depression was right around the corner.

The uncle character, played by Albert Gran, is great. He is supposed to be the big obstacle for the young lovers.

But he has such a round, friendly face and jowls that shake when he gets mad. He looks like a very upset pug, which makes it hard to be scared of him.

I really wish we had the whole movie in one piece. Since a lot of it is lost, you have to watch these versions where still photos fill in the gaps for missing footage.

It is like reading a book with every third page torn out. You get the gist of the story, but you miss the internal rhythm of how it was supposed to flow.

Even with the gaps, you can tell this thing was a massive hit. It has this 'we just discovered sound' energy that is hard to fake.

Everyone is talking as much as possible just because they finally can. It is like a kid who just got a new toy and won't stop showing it to you.

It is definitely a better time than Topsy and Eva, which is just hard to sit