Hell's Heroes review: A sweaty, mean Western that actually holds up

If you like movies that feel like they were filmed inside a hot oven, Hell's Heroes is definitely for you. It is worth watching today just to see how much more brutal movies were before the censors really took over.

People who love early sound experiments will dig this. If you can't stand loud, crackly audio or slow-moving desert treks, you will probably hate it and turn it off after ten minutes. 🏜️

The whole thing kicks off with a bank robbery that feels surprisingly messy. It isn't a clean action scene like you'd see in a modern flick.

Charles Bickford plays Bob, and he has this voice that sounds like he’s been eating gravel for breakfast. He’s mean. Like, genuinely mean.

There is a moment where they are riding away and the dust is so thick you can barely see the actors. I wonder if the cameraman was wearing a mask or just choking the whole time.

They find this woman in a covered wagon who is about to give birth. It is one of the most uncomfortable scenes I’ve seen in a movie from this era.

The lighting in the wagon is all shadows and sweaty faces. It feels more like a horror movie than a Western for a second.

When she tells them they have to be the godfathers, you can see the regret on their faces. They know they are probably going to die trying to get this kid to safety.

The baby is... well, it's a 1920s baby. It cries a lot.

The sound recording is so old that the crying sounds like a siren or a small animal being squeezed. It gets under your skin after a while. 🔊

I noticed that Raymond Hatton, who plays Barbwire, has this twitchy energy that makes him feel way more real than the usual cowboy archetypes. He’s not a hero. He’s just a guy who doesn't want to burn to death.

There’s a long stretch where they are just walking through the sand. It goes on and on.

Usually, this would be boring, but the way they look at their water canteens is so desperate. You start to feel thirsty just watching them shake the empty bottles.

It’s much darker than stuff like Betty Be Good. Like, worlds apart in terms of mood.

I kept thinking about how much work it must have been to haul those giant 1929 cameras out into the actual desert. You can tell they aren't on a studio backlot because the heat shimmer is real.

One of the robbers starts seeing things, and the movie handles the madness pretty well. It doesn't use fancy effects, just close-ups of his cracked lips.

I will say, the ending is a bit of a gut punch. It’s not the happy-go-lucky ending you’d expect from a story about a baby.

Bickford’s walk back into town is incredible. He looks like a ghost that's been dragged through a briar patch.

He enters a church, and the contrast between the dusty, dying man and the clean people singing is almost too much. It’s heavy-handed, but it works beacause he’s so gross-looking.

It reminded me a little of the grit in The Pioneers, but with more shouting. The shouting is really a hallmark of these early talkies.

Sometimes the actors pause for like three seconds before answering a question. I think they were waiting for the microphone to catch up or something.

It makes the conversations feel weirdly formal even when they are swearing at each other.

I also found it funny how they treat the baby. They try to feed it condensed milk and it looks like a disaster.

If you've seen the John Ford version of this story (3 Godfathers), this one is way less sentimental. There are no singing cowboys here. Just dying ones.

I actually prefer this version because it feels more honest about how much the desert sucks. It's not a playground. It's a grave.

I noticed a mistake in one scene where a shadow of a crew member seems to flicker on a rock. Or maybe it was just a bush. It's hard to tell with the grain.

The film is much better than something like Detective Craig's Coup which feels like a stage play. This feels like a movie movie.

The way they use the wind is great too. It’s constant.

It’s a shame more people don’t talk about this one when they talk about the best Westerns. It’s got more teeth than most of the stuff from the 30s.

I don't think I'd want to watch it twice in one week, though. It’s a bit of a downer.

But for a one-time watch on a rainy Sunday? It’s perfect. Just make sure you have a glass of water nearby.

The script is credited to a few people, but it feels like it was written on the fly. Some lines are just clunky.

"We gotta get the kid to New Jerusalem." They say it like five times. We get it, guys.

Anyway, it's a solid 80 minutes of men suffering in the sun. If that’s your thing, go for it.

It’s definitely more interesting than Hurry, Doctor! or some of the other fluff from that time. 🌵

The baby survives, which I guess is the point, but you really feel for the guys who didn't. Even if they were thieves.

The movie doesn't try to make them saints. It just shows them doing one decent thing before they kick the bucket.

That’s enough for me.